complete verse (Ecclesiastes 5:3)

Following are a number of back-translations as well as a sample translation for translators of Ecclesiastes 5:3:

  • Kupsabiny: “If you continue to have thoughts trouble you that is when you get/find bad dreams. But/And if you speak many words, you may speak foolish/stupid words.” (Source: Kupsabiny Back Translation)
  • Newari: “Just as from much anxiety one sees dreams,
    in the same way if many words are spoken, a fool emerges from the words.” (Source: Newari Back Translation)
  • Hiligaynon: “As you (sing.) easily dreams when you (sing.) keep-on worrying, you (sing.) can easily speak foolishness if you (sing.) speak rashly/without-thinking.” (Source: Hiligaynon Back Translation)
  • English: “If you are continually thinking and worrying about things,
    you will have bad dreams about them and not rest well.
    And the more you talk,
    the more likely it will be that you will say things that are foolish.” (Source: Translation for Translators)

Translation commentary on Ecclesiastes 5:3

This saying has all the features of a quotation, which Qoheleth uses to support the imperatives of verses 1-2. Verse 2 asserts that our words should be few. There is an element of contrast between the wise person and the fool who talks too much. A parallel structure is another feature of this verse: dream and fool’s voice balance each other, as do the adverbial phrases using much and many.

For a dream comes with much business: it is hard to see how this clause relates to the rest of the passage and its theme of worship (verses 1-7). If, however, Qoheleth is quoting a well-known proverb, it is probable that this line is part of that proverb. It’s function is to set the pattern for his own message in the second line. A similar example occurs in 10.1, where the first line introduces Qoheleth’s own thought in the second line.

A dream may come in the form of a vision while a person is asleep, or it may be a daytime activity as our thoughts wander. It can also signal our hopes or longings for the future. Which of these does Qoheleth have in mind? If the first line is a proverb providing the model for the second line, then dream has a negative sense. Good News Translation is then correct to say “bad dreams.”

Business: see comments at 3.9. It has the sense here of work with effort rather than a commercial sense. A word like “worry” seems an appropriate way to think of it. New Revised Standard Version suggests “many cares.”

And a fool’s voice with many words: the phrase a fool’s voice has a broader sense than the mere sound of his voice. It includes all that he says. Many words will refer to the great amount of talking that a fool often does, as well as the sense that it is not worth listening to. By adding the adjective “empty” we can convey Qoheleth’s idea adequately: “what a fool says is all empty chatter.” New English Bible is correctly neutral with its rendering “the fool talks and it is so much chatter.”

Translators should make sure that these two lines demonstrate this verse’s parallel thought and structure. “Much” and “many” are common to both lines. For example:

• As dreams go hand-in-hand with many cares,
So does foolish talk with many words.

• You worry too much, you dream bad dreams.
You speak too much, you speak foolishness.

• With many cares, you have nightmares.
With many words, you speak foolishness.

Quoted with permission from Ogden, Graham S. and Zogbo, Lynell. A Handbook on the Book of Ecclesiates. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 1997. For this and other handbooks for translators see here .

SIL Translator’s Notes on Ecclesiastes 5:3

5:3a As a dream comes through many cares,

If you keep thinking about something, you will dream about it. (Contemporary English Version)
-or-
If you think about your troubles too much, you will dream about bad things. (EASY2015)

5:3b so the speech of a fool comes with many words.

If you talk too much, you will say the wrong thing. (Contemporary English Version)
-or-
If you talk too much, you will say silly things. (EASY2015)

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Commentaire sur la traduction de l'Ecclésiaste 5.3

Qohéleth présente un cas précis, lorsqu’une personne fait des vœux à Dieu. En Ecc 5.1 le Sage conseille de ne pas faire les choses hâtivement, mais ici, il conseille le contraire, lorsqu’il s’agit d’accomplir un vœu qu’on a fait au Seigneur.

Si tu fais un vœu à Dieu : en hébreu Qohéleth utilise une construction double, utilisant deux fois la racine נדר ndr, litt. « lorsque tu voueras un vœu à Dieu ». Il est clair que Qohéleth met en relief l’importance de cet acte. Comme en Ecc 5.1, le conseil est intime, dirigé à la deuxième personne du singulier, tu. Si ce style convient dans la langue cible, on pourrait le garder. Sinon on pourrait utiliser une autre forme comme « Lorsque vous/on/quelqu’un fait un vœu… »

vœu, en hébreu : נֵדֶר nédèr : certaines langues ont un mot précis pour des vœux faits à une divinité, mais sinon, on pourrait parler de « promesse ».

ne tarde pas à l’accomplir : l’adresse à la deuxième personne du singulier continue et le conseil, c’est de ne pas tarder à accomplir le vœu. Autrement dit, il faudrait vite accomplir le vœu. Le mot rendu par accomplir a plusieurs sens : « compléter », « rembourser », « s’acquitter (d’une dette) », etc. Voir Gen 44.4 ; Lév 5.16. Dans ce contexte il s’agit de faire ce qu’on a promis de faire. Les traducteurs pourront formuler cet impératif d’une manière naturelle dans leur langue, par exemple « accomplis-le sans tarder » (La Bible du Semeur) ou « tiens-la [la promesse] vite » (Parole de Vie).

Car il n’y a pas de faveur pour les insensés : la conjonction וְ we introduit ici une explication, c’est-à-dire, pourquoi on ne doit pas tarder. Les traducteurs pourront choisir la transition qu’il faudra. faveur rend le mot hébreu חֵפֶץ ḥéfèç, litt. « plaisir ». Qohéleth sous-entend « il n’y a pas de faveur auprès de Dieu ». Ainsi on pourrait dire « Dieu n’aime pas les gens insensés ». La Bible en français courant rend bien le sens en disant « car Dieu n’aime pas ceux qui agissent sans réfléchir ». Mais au lieu de varier son vocabulaire, Qohéleth a plutôt tendance à répéter les mêmes termes. Comme dans les autres écrits de sagesse, ici les insensés s’opposent aux sages, tout comme les justes s’opposent aux méchants.

le vœu que tu as fait, accomplis-le. : comme en hébreu, la Traduction œcuménique de la Bible met le complément d’objet direct au début de la phrase où il est mis en relief. Le texte litt. « ce que tu voues (imperfectif), accomplis ». Les traducteurs devraient essayer de rendre cette emphase. Pour s’y faire, certaines versions ajoutent « C’est pourquoi accomplis ce que tu as promis » (Parole de Vie). Les traducteurs peuvent ajouter un pronom pour reprendre le complément s’il le faut : accomplis-le.

Pour vœu… accomplis, voir ci dessus.

Source: Zogbo, Lynell. L’Ecclésiaste – Manuel de traduction – Commentaire linguistique et exégétique de la Bible. Alliance biblique universelle, 2021.