Make my deceitful words to be their wound and stripe: For deceitful words see the comment on “deceit of my lips” at verse 10. Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version gain force by changing the nouns wound and stripe to verbs. They become “wound and kill,” though “kill” is overstatement. “Bruise” is closer to the meaning.

They have planned cruel things against thy covenant: This clause means “they have planned to do evil things against your Covenant Box.” Covenant probably does not refer to the “agreement” between God and his people, but to the actual “ark” or “Covenant Box” in the temple along with its contents. Translators will most likely have translated the Pentateuch and have a suitable term for the Covenant Box (see Exo 25.10-22).

Thy consecrated house is the temple; Good News Translation renders consecrated by calling the temple “your holy Temple.”

The top of Zion: A number of translations (Good News Translation, New Revised Standard Version, New American Bible, New Jerusalem Bible, Gonzáles and Alonso-Schöckel) consider top of Zion redundant, and simply refer to “Mount Zion.”

Good News Translation takes the house possessed by thy children to mean the land. Notice how Good News Translation‘s sequence in this verse progresses from small to great, as in verse 12: Covenant (the ark and its contents) … the Temple … the city of Jerusalem … the land of Israel. One must note that some versions take the house to refer to the homes of the people (see New American Bible), but this interpretation fits the context less well.

An alternative translation model for this verse is:

• Please help me carry out my deceitful plan to wound and bruise our enemies who have planned to do terrible [or, cruel] things against your Covenant Box, against your temple, and against Mount Zion and the land of Israel.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

A paragraph break is needed at this point. The reader needs to be alerted that Judith is changing the subject.

As for the things Achior said in your council: Achior is introduced here abruptly in most translations. He has not been mentioned since 6.21. The Greek is actually not that abrupt. Judith says something like: “Now regarding what Achior told you in your council….” For council see 6.1.

For the men of Bethulia spared him may be rendered “The people of Bethulia kept Achior alive” (Contemporary English Version).

Two alternative translation models are given for this verse. Both are not abrupt in introducing Achior. The first one is fairly literal; the second one is similar to Good News Translation by combining the clauses that contain the verb said. They can be combined since in both places said refers to Achior telling the people of Bethulia everything he had said to Holofernes. In some languages, though, the repetition will be quite natural.

• Now regarding what Achior told you in your council, we’ve heard all about it, because the men of Bethulia rescued him, and he told us about it.

• Now the men of Bethulia rescued Achior, and he told us what he had said at your war council.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Judith is in fact accepting none of Holofernes’ hospitality. She consumes only the food and wine brought with her from Bethulia. It was prepared for her here by her maid. Good News Translation‘s “But even then Judith ate and drank only…” greatly helps the reader in grasping this point. The Jewish reader would have understood that Judith, even in the midst of moral threat, is holding fast to ritual purity.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

When the Assyrians saw them: This is not simply the Assyrians; it is more precisely the Assyrian sentries, those guarding the camp. Translators may wish to say so. The guards then send word up the chain of command. This is not an entirely orderly procedure, however. Good News Translation makes it sound rather calm “they sent word … these reported….” There is no panic in the camp just yet, but there is the excitement of anticipated battle.

They sent word to their commanders: The verb sent word implies “sent word in all directions.”

Good News Translation combines generals … captains … all their officers into a simple “their superiors,” and Contemporary English Version has “every Assyrian officer.” Technically, this covers everything, but it lacks the vividness along with the stir and commotion the author has given us by picturing the news spreading rank by rank. If a translator has a number of terms in the receptor language for various levels of army commanders, those may be used here although the author seems to be using the terms without technical precision. The soldiers tell their immediate superiors, and they tell theirs, and so on.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

I will sing to my God a new song may be rendered “I will sing a new song praising my God.” Here Judith praises God in the first person singular.

O, Lord, thou are great and glorious, wonderful in strength, invincible: Great and glorious are close synonyms, describing God as majestic, magnificent, and exalted. Invincible does not mean “undefeated,” but “undefeatable.” If Good News Translation is translating great by “strong,” it is leaving out the element of wonderful in strength, which means “tremendously strong.” Combining these various attributes of God has weakened the description. Better translations are:

• O Lord, you are great and glorious.
You are marvelously strong—no one can defeat you!

• O Lord, you are great and worthy of praise.
You have tremendous strength—no one can defeat you.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Along with them went a mixed crowd: A mixed crowd of people accompanies the army as it begins its march. Good News Translation describes these as “other troops,” but it is not clear that this is intended. These are probably camp followers—merchants, scavengers, swindlers, prostitutes, anyone seeking profit from the anticipated carnage and destruction. A mixed crowd may therefore be alternatively translated “a huge crowd of other people.”

Like a swarm of locusts, like the dust of the earth: This crowd of people was also countless, like swarming insects. Locusts are the migratory type of winged, hopping insects that swarm in the air. They are enormously destructive to plant life. In cultures where locusts are unknown, one could say “like a swarm of winged insects.” The stress here is on the great number of insects rather than the actual variety. These people were also described as the dust of the earth. The Greek text is literally “sand,” not dust. Good News Translation has “like grains of sand in the desert,” while Contemporary English Version has “like grains of sand on the seashore.” However, in cultures where sand is non-existent, dust may be used.

A multitude that could not be counted: Good News Translation provides a good model here with “There were so many that it was impossible to count them.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

When the men of the city saw them, they caught up their weapons and ran out of the city to the top of the hill: Revised Standard Version notes a textual problem here. Some authorities add “on the top of the hill” to the first clause. If this is done, the phrase top of the hill appears twice in this verse, and most scholars think that one of the occurrences is a mistaken scribal repetition. The textual problem is compounded by grammatical ambiguity. What does the phrase top of the hill modify? The first occurrence of the phrase can be understood three ways:

(1) When the men of the town who were on top of the hill saw them….
(2) When the men of the town, which was on top of the hill, saw them….
(3) When the men of the town saw them on top of the hill….

The second understanding is the most natural way to understand both the Greek and the geography. The third one is the least likely possibility, in spite of the Revised Standard Version note. The Assyrian soldiers are coming up from the plain.

The second occurrence of top of the hill can be understood two ways:

(1) They ran outside the town to the top of the hill….
(2) They ran outside the town, which was on top of the hill….

The second understanding is most likely with the town on top of the hill. The first one seems to have the defenders putting the town between them and the approaching Assyrian soldiers.

The textual question is whether one of these two phrases is a mistaken addition to the text, and if so, which one. It is important to note that in both cases the phrase top of the hill follows immediately after the phrase the city, in the same grammatical form and spelling. It would have been quite easy for a scribe to repeat the phrase at the second occurrence by moving his eyes to the first the city and writing the descriptive phrase a second time. One also could easily reason, as some do, that the first occurrence of the phrase is the mistaken addition. On the other hand, it could have been a conscious repetition, so it is original. Traduction œcuménique de la Bible is alone in going this way.

Translators will be in good scholarly company, whatever choice they make. However, the following solution, which is suggested by Gonzáles and Alonso-Schöckel, appears to be defensible and simple:

• When the men of Bethulia saw them coming, they grabbed their weapons and ran out of the town, which was on top of the hill.

This satisfies the Greek since top of the hill most likely modifies city. It also fits the geography since the city was surely on top of the hill, not halfway up. Finally it supports the tactics. The defenders can repel the Assyrians and have the safety of their city at their back. This translation avoids repetition by naming Bethulia at the first occurrence of the city. Translators are urged to follow this solution.

All the slingers kept them from coming up by casting stones at them: Slingers were men who used stones as weapons. By whirling the sling with the stone about his head several times, and then letting go one end of the sling, the stone was propelled forward with great force.

Good News Translation builds this explanation into the text unnoticed, although “rained” presents a problem with “Every man” as subject of the verb. The whole mass of slingers could “rain” stones on the enemy, but a single man could hardly do it. The form of the verb “cast/throw” used here does suggest a “rain” of stones, however. But in some languages it will be unnatural to talk about “raining stones on.” In such cases Contemporary English Version‘s translation will be helpful: “They were able to stop the Assyrians from getting any closer by using slings to throw stones at them.” We may reorder the clauses and say, for example, “Some of the men used slings to throw stones at the Assyrians. This stopped them from coming up any closer.”

The Greek does not specify those being stopped by the slingers; it simply says them, but translators may feel the need for a noun here. It must be well chosen, however. It should be consistent with the noun used in 6.7, 10-11 (whether Holofernes’ servants, slaves, or soldiers). When Good News Translation reads “Holofernes’ soldiers” it is being consistent with its rendering “my men” in 6.7 and “men” in verses 10-11. If a translation has opted for “servants” or “slaves” in 6.7, 10-11, it should do the same here.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.