Revised Standard Version has a paragraph break here, which we do not recommend.

When he approached Azotus: There is a problem with the verb approached, since the townspeople could not show Ptolemy the burned temple until he was in the city. Good News Bible solves this problem by saying “reached.” See below for another model.

They showed him the temple of Dagon burned down: See 1Macc 10.84. Good News Bible provides a helpful model here, saying “the people there showed him the burned ruins of the temple of Dagon.”

And Azotus and its suburbs destroyed: Its suburbs refers to “the surrounding towns” (Good News Bible) of Azotus.

And the corpses lying about, and the charred bodies of those whom Jonathan had burned in the war, for they had piled them in heaps along his route: The people of Azotus had good reason to resent Jonathan, and since Jonathan acted in defense of Alexander, they also resented Alexander. So they saw here an opportunity to prod Ptolemy into taking action against them. They piled the bodies of the dead from the recent battle along Ptolemy’s line of march into town. Much of the information in this last half of the verse may be combined by saying “They also showed him the piles of bodies of people Jonathan’s forces had killed and had burned to death, heaped up along the road.”

An alternative model that rearranges this verse is:

• As Ptolemy approached Azotus, he saw the ruins of the nearby towns, and passed piles of bodies of people that Jonathan’s forces had killed and had burned to death, heaped along the road. The people of Azotus showed him the destruction in the city, the burned temple of Dagon, and corpses lying everywhere.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on 1-2 Maccabees. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2011. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.