Translation commentary on Susanna 1:7

If integrated into the book of Daniel: 13.7.

When the people departed at noon: Good News Translation is misleading with “when all the people left for lunch,” since it implies a temporary break in the day’s proceedings. But the text does not say that anyone returns the same day. Rather, we would assume from verse 28 that these proceedings ended at midday. Thus Contemporary English Version has “Each day, the people left the house at noon.”

Susanna would go into her husband’s garden to walk: This is another customary action. The Greek says her husband’s garden. Technically, by the law and customs of that day and time, the gardens probably were his and not hers or even theirs. Verse 4 already notes his ownership. Identifying them as her husband’s at this point may serve only to raise unintended and distracting questions, so Good News Translation says simply “the gardens.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Susanna 1:41

If integrated into the book of Daniel: 13.41.

The assembly believed them, because they were elders of the people and judges: There is some confusion of pronouns in the Revised Standard Version here, which Good News Translation avoids by reversing these clauses as follows: “Because the two men [they] were not only leaders in the community but also judges, the people believed their story [them].” The Greek word for assembly is usually translated “synagogue” in other places. In the Septuagint version of Susanna, this word is used to refer to a building, but here it refers to the gathering of Jews who have come to hear the case against Susanna. The word of the respected men is accepted without question; there is no cross-examination of the witnesses as provided for in rabbinic law or by Deut 19.15-20. Witnesses could not judge cases, and since in this situation, the witnesses were judges, someone else has to pass judgment. We would expect another judge to do it, but the guilty verdict is passed by the people who had gathered to hear the case. Once again we wonder where the husband is. He never appears to defend his wife, nor does she protest her innocence to him, or appeal to him for help. New Jerusalem Bible provides a helpful model here, saying “Since they were elders of the people and judges, the assembly accepted their word.”

They condemned her to death may be expressed as “They [the people] agreed that Susanna should be put to death” or “… agreed that they [unknown agents] should execute Susanna.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Bel and the Dragon 1:12

If integrated into the book of Daniel: 14.12.

If you do not find that Bel has eaten it all may be rendered “if you find that Bel hasn’t eaten all the food and drunk the wine.”

We will die: This is literal, but the meaning is as New Jerusalem Bible and New English Bible have it: “let us be put to death.” An English-speaking reader would understand “you can put us to death” (Good News Translation, Contemporary English Version) to mean the same thing.

Or else Daniel will: The Greek is abruptly shortened here; the whole verse is literally “and having come early, if you do not find everything eaten by Bel, we will die or Daniel who lies against us.” Literally it says that if the king finds that Bel has not eaten the food, someone must die—either the priests or Daniel. What is meant, of course, is just what Good News Translation says, that if the king finds Bel has eaten the food, Daniel must die. In a way, the shortening is forceful and dramatic. We can picture one of the priests saying “we will die,” but then turning with a vicious sneer, pointing to Daniel, and spitting out “or Daniel will, that liar!” But since the translator cannot rely on a skillful oral reader to act out the story, it is good to add some clarification to the translation. Or else Daniel will is a minimum. Good News Translation is much wordier than the Greek, and it loses the strong disrespect for Daniel here in the Greek, but it is clear. In some languages there will be special demonstratives that show this derogatory or insulting feeling; for example, “or this fellow Daniel here.”

Who is telling lies about us: Daniel has not actually accused the priests of anything, of course. They simply assume this, since they know the truth. The naive king has said that Daniel would die for blaspheming the god Bel. The priests, who know the truth, want Daniel to die for telling “lies” against them.

An alternative translation model for this verse is:

• When you return in the morning [or, when the sun rises], if you find that Bel hasn’t eaten all the food and wine, you can put us to death [or, execute us]. But if the food is all gone, this will prove that this fellow Daniel here has been lying against us, and you can put him to death.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Baruch 1:5

Then they wept, and fasted, and prayed before the Lord: “When the book was read” (Good News Translation; similarly Contemporary English Version) does not appear in the Greek text, but it is clearly what is intended by the connector Then and is helpful to the reader. It establishes that the weeping, fasting, and praying came about as a result of hearing the book being read; not that they had come together to hear a book being read, and weep, fast, and pray. In languages that do not have the passive voice, translators may say “When Baruch read the book” or “As Baruch was reading the book.”

In Greek the three actions of weeping, fasting, and praying are mentioned in the imperfect tense. This could be interpreted as the beginning of the action: “they began to weep, to fast, and to pray.” Fasting (that is, going without food) presents a problem in this series, since by its nature it requires hours, if not days. People can weep or pray briefly, but a fast of a few minutes’ duration is not very impressive. If we concentrate on the beginning of the action, a translation such as “they began to…” may help to avoid this problem. There is a further idea here: the people wept, fasted, and prayed before the Lord. This phrase appears to modify all three verbs, not simply the last one (as in Good News Translation and New English Bible “prayed to the Lord”). The intent is more like “they devoted [or, rededicated] themselves to the Lord in tears, with fasting and prayer.”

Lord (kurios in Greek) is the equivalent of the Hebrew word ʾadonay, which means “one who rules” or “master.” In some languages the word for Lord is also the word used to translate “chief,” and so the word “God” is added to make it clear who is being referred to; for example, “the chief God.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Baruch 2:16

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Baruch 3:13

If you had walked in the way of God: The unstated sense of this is that Israel did not walk in the way of God, that is, live according to God’s commandments. Instead, they abandoned that way. Contemporary English Version says “If you had followed the ways of God.”

You would be dwelling in peace for ever: The choice was Israel’s to make. They chose to leave God’s way and finished up exiled in a foreign country. But if they had followed God’s Law, they could have lived in their own land for all time, in peace. Peace represents the Hebrew word shalom, which means not only peace as opposed to conflict, but also prosperity, health, and general well-being. In some languages it will be necessary to use more than one expression; for example, “health and prosperity [or, happiness].” There is no conflict between Revised Standard Version and Good News Translation in the use of the tenses you would be dwelling and “you would have lived.” The idea here is that if the people had obeyed God they would have lived in peace in the past and would still be living in peace.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Baruch 4:8

You forgot the everlasting God: Forgot is the opposite of “remember” as used in Bar 2.32 (see the comments there). It has the meaning of “put out of mind,” “ignored,” or even “rejected,” so Contemporary English Version has “You rejected the eternal God.” The everlasting God may be rendered “the God who lives forever” or “the God who never dies.”

Who brought you up … who reared you: These two clauses have the same meaning. In this verse Israel is being compared to a child, with both God and Jerusalem compared to the child’s parents. In fact, both are compared to the child’s mother. The Greek verb translated brought … up actually refers to nursing a baby at the breast. The only other time it is used in the Greek Bible is at Exo 2.7. The translator will have to decide the extent to which this clearly feminine imagery will be expressed. Similes are often easier than metaphors, so the following rendering of the first line with a simile is suggested: “You forgot the everlasting God, who was like a mother to you.” Good News Translation uses this simile for Jerusalem in the next line. New Jerusalem Bible also transfers the imagery of a mother to Jerusalem by saying “… Jerusalem who nursed you” (similarly Moore). The Greek term rendered reared refers to the bringing up of a child. The term that means breast-feeding is unmistakably used only of God. (Compare Deut 32.18, where God is compared to a mother who gives birth to the child.) Notice that the two lines in this verse are parallel in meaning:

You forgot — the everlasting God — who brought you up
you grieved — Jerusalem — who reared you

Since who brought you up is parallel to who reared you, Good News Translation uses two clauses with similar meaning: “who had nourished you as a child” and “who had been like a mother to you.”

And you grieved Jerusalem: Good News Translation renders the connector and as “and so.” However, the Greek text does not say that Jerusalem’s grief is the result of the people forgetting God. “You also brought grief to Jerusalem” or “You also caused Jerusalem to grieve” is really all it says.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Baruch 5:3

The Greek for this verse is literally “For God will show to every under heaven your splendor.” Whether a word has dropped out of the text or not, “every under heaven” clearly means “every nation on earth” (Good News Translation). An alternative way to express this verse is “because God will let every nation on earth see your brightness [or, splendor].” The connector For expresses a logical relationship with the previous verse, so it should be translated.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.