Translation commentary on The Prayer of Azariah and the Song of the Three Young Men 1:57

If integrated into the book of Daniel: 3.79

Whales: Moore translates “sea monsters” and New American Bible “dolphins.” All are acceptable. The Greek word here refers to any kind of large sea creature. Obviously the people in ancient times made no distinction between sea mammals (whales, dolphins, porpoises) and huge fish.

All creatures that move in the waters: All is omitted by Good News Translation, but is present in the Greek. Good News Translation “sea creatures” condenses the rest of the Greek phrase. New English Bible speaks of “all that swim in the waters,” which is natural enough since moving in water is swimming. “Creatures that live [or, make their home] in the water” would be saying the same thing.

In a culture that is far from the ocean and where the language lacks specific terms for sea creatures, we may follow Contemporary English Version with “every sea creature, whether large or small.”

Notice that this psalm, although echoing Psa 148, is arranging the creatures in the order used in Gen 1: sea creatures, birds, animals, humans.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Susanna 1:24

If integrated into the book of Daniel: 13.24.

Then Susanna cried out with a loud voice: Susanna is not quite ready to give in; she employs the rape victim’s classic defense, screaming. (The legal distinction between adultery and rape in Deut 22.23-27 depends on the victim’s screaming for help.) The Greek is literally translated by Revised Standard Version, but once again the translator must visualize the scene and describe it. The verb cried out can be expressed in various ways, and “started screaming” (Good News Translation) fits in well here, though “shouted” would not be out of place. Contemporary English Version says “screamed for help.”

The two elders shouted against her: They did not “shout her down” as in New English Bible. Once Susanna screamed for help, the only way their plan could work was to start shouting accusations immediately. Good News Translation does an excellent job in conveying the commotion in this scene. Even the name Susanna would slow down the action, so Good News Translation substitutes it with the pronoun “she.” The feeling of excitement is furthered in Good News Translation by joining this sentence with the next one, so that the reader pictures the wild scene of Susanna standing there screaming, both of the judges shouting at her, while one of them runs off to unbar the gate—all of this going on at the same time.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Susanna 1:56

If integrated into the book of Daniel: 13.56.

Then he put him aside, and commanded them to bring the other: In Revised Standard Version Daniel is the one who puts aside the first judge and commands the other one to be brought. In Good News Translation this point is not made. The two judges become subjects of passive verbs; one is “led away” and the other is “brought.” This has the virtue of avoiding what in English is a real problem: finding a good verb for put him aside. Even “putting him to one side” as in New Revised Standard Version and New American Bible sounds like Daniel is moving a chess piece or some small object. Moore’s “set him aside” is even worse. New Jerusalem Bible “dismissed the man” sounds like Daniel is through with the man and he can go home. New English Bible at least recognizes the problem by saying “told him to stand aside.” The problem with this rendering is that it leaves the first witness on the scene for the interrogation of the second one, which the author probably does not intend. The use of passive verbs in Good News Translation does not distort the meaning and is a good way out of an annoying problem. Translators who cannot use passive verbs or who do not wish to do so may be fortunate enough to find appropriate verbs in their language. These translators are cautioned that they may need to identify them; that is, the people who are commanded to bring in the second man. An alternative model is “Daniel ordered the people to lead the first man away from the group of elders and bring over the second one to him.”

You offspring of Canaan and not of Judah is literally “Seed of Canaan and not of Judah.” See Gen 9.25-27. One thing is perfectly obvious here: Daniel is throwing a fierce insult at the elder. From our remote perspective, however, it is not clear just what made this phrase so insulting. The Canaanites were traditional Jewish enemies, of course, but by the time Susanna is written, they had pretty well vanished into history. Contemporary English Version‘s translation, “You’re not a Jew; you’re a filthy Canaanite!” would probably convey to most readers the proper attitude of contempt, and it is probably close to what Daniel is saying.

Beauty has deceived you and lust has perverted your heart: Good News Translation interprets this to mean that Susanna’s beauty has deceived them, but more likely Daniel is saying that their downfall has come because of their lust for women in general. The next verse seems to say that the men thought of Susanna as one more sexual conquest. “Warped your judgment” (Good News Translation) is a good equivalent to deceived you. Perhaps an approach like this would work: “You’re not thinking straight. Your judgment has been corrupted by your lust for beautiful women.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Bel and the Dragon 1:27

If integrated into the book of Daniel: 14.27.

Pitch, fat, and hair: Pitch is a dark, thick, and sticky substance related to petroleum; it burns (see the comments on TYM 23). “Tar” (Good News Translation, Contemporary English Version) is a reasonable equivalent, although technically it is a modern product. A great deal of scholarly energy has gone into trying to explain this peculiar group of ingredients, with some far-fetched results. Probably the author is simply trying to think up something particularly repellent. Doran’s commentary enters into the spirit of the thing: “The mixture Daniel concocts does not sound too appetizing, but as every good chef knows, presentation is everything, and Daniel displays it in the form of barley cakes.” Moore wryly describes “This curious concoction” as “neither explosive in itself nor poisonous to snakes (though hardly nutritious).”

Made cakes: Needless to say, this does not refer to the layered and frosted dessert. Of the English translations, only Moore has found a way to express what is meant here; Daniel “made patties.” The Greek word for cakes actually applies to goods baked from barley. The author is probably saying that Daniel took this boiled mess and formed it into patties that looked like barley cakes, as Doran assumes in the quotation just above. Contemporary English Version makes this clear with “he shaped the mixture into cakes that looked something like loaves of barley bread [bread made out of barley flour].”

Burst open: Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version make the scene more graphic by saying the creature “swelled up and burst open.” This is a nice touch, and it is not so much an addition as an expansion of what is included in bursting open. There may be a subtle indication that the snake explodes into pieces; see the next comment.

See what you have been worshiping!: The translator’s goal here is to put words in Daniel’s mouth appropriate to the occasion. Good News Translation is not bad, saying “That’s the kind of thing you Babylonians worship,” and Contemporary English Version is similar with “Take a look at what you Babylonians worship.” Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version correctly bring across the fact that you is plural, referring to the Babylonians, not just the king. Actually, the Greek says something like “Behold the things you worship”—the word used for “the things … worship” is plural. Since the snake is singular, we may be supposed to think of the snake as being blown to bits.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on The Prayer of Manasseh 1:12

I have sinned, O Lord, I have sinned: It would be hard to improve on the simplicity of this rendering, but it should at least be noted that the perfect tense of the Greek verb here (different from the aorist [past] tense of “the sins I have committed” in verse 9) indicates not only that the speaker sinned in the past, but that he lives now in a state conditioned by that sin. This simple line will be forcefully echoed in the next verse with “forgive me, O Lord, forgive me!”

I know my transgressions; that is, I am aware of them. By making this statement the speaker is confessing his sins, as Good News Translation has it: “I confess the wicked things I have done.” New English Bible says “I acknowledge my transgressions.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see