Translation commentary on The Prayer of Azariah and the Song of the Three Young Men 1:10

If integrated into the book of Daniel: 3.33

And now we cannot open our mouths: This is a Semitic idiom in translation, and its meaning in this context is not clear. The possibilities are:

1. We have no right to complain (because we deserve our punishment).
2. We are too ashamed (of our sin? our humiliation?) to ask for mercy.
3. We are in no position to protest (the enemy has so oppressed us).

Although option 2 is apparently adopted by Good News Translation and New English Bible, it appears to be ruled out by the fact that in the next verse Azariah asks for mercy. Option 3 is not too likely since the captive Jews would have to do a lot more than speak out to rid themselves of Nebuchadnezzar. Option 1 is the most realistic choice (so New Jerusalem Bible).

Shame and disgrace have befallen thy servants and worshipers: Shame and disgrace do not refer to two different conditions; both words are used for a cumulative effect. Good News Translation does well to express thy servants and worshipers in the first person: “all of us who worship you.” But the translator may or may not want to follow Good News Translation in combining servants and worshipers into one expression.

An alternative translation model for this verse is:

• We have no right to complain. All of us who serve and worship you are in complete disgrace [or, are living in complete shame].

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on The Prayer of Azariah and the Song of the Three Young Men 1:45

If integrated into the book of Daniel: 3.67

Winter cold and summer heat: The names of the seasons are not in the Greek text; “bitter cold and scorching heat” in Good News Translation is just as good. New Jerusalem Bible reads simply “cold and warmth,” which is adequate.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Susanna 1:10

If integrated into the book of Daniel: 13.10.

Both were overwhelmed with passion for her is literally “Both had been stabbed over her.” Good News Translation says “They each wanted Susanna,” which is much too weak. New English Bible has “They were both infatuated with her,” which gives some psychological dimension to the description; “… obsessed with her” would do the same. Some scholars think the Greek verb “had been stabbed” is a translator’s mistake for a Hebrew word of similar appearance meaning “be sick,” and point to Song 2.5 and 5.8, where the Greek translator clearly made just that error. Others point to the use of the verb in Acts 2.37 to defend its use here. Moore adopts the textual change and translates “were lovesick,” which makes these lustful elders sound like teenagers. There is no compelling reason to resort to changing the text here unless one is determined to translate literally, in which case either approach (“stabbed” or “sick”) will lead to trouble. What the author intends to say is well expressed in Revised Standard Version, although “They were both infatuated [or, obsessed] with her” carries with it the idea of being overwhelmed with an unwholesome passion. This is consistent with the next verse, where it is clear that each man feels guilt, and for this reason Contemporary English Version combines the two verses, placing the first clause of verse 11 (“for they were ashamed”) at the beginning (see the alternative model below for verses 10-11).

But they did not tell each other of their distress may be translated “but neither told the other how he felt” (Good News Translation; similarly Contemporary English Version).

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Susanna 1:44

If integrated into the book of Daniel: 13.44.

The Lord heard her cry: Her cry means “her [or, Susanna’s] prayer.” Good News Translation describes the content of the cry with “The Lord heard her prayer.” This sentence is very short, and Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version combine it with the following sentence in a smooth fashion. Something can be said for the short sentence, however. It is the pivot around which the story turns. Things have gone from bad to worse up to this point, but when God hears Susanna’s prayer, things begin to change for the better. The brevity of the statement may call attention to itself and focus its power. It is purely a stylistic matter, and translators must decide for themselves the most effective way to present it.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Bel and the Dragon 1:15

If integrated into the book of Daniel: 14.15.

The priests came … as they were accustomed to do: Instead of as they were accustomed to do, Good News Translation reads “as usual” (Contemporary English Version “as they always did”), and it inserts “into the temple by the secret entrance” to help the reader out a bit.

Ate and drank everything; that is, everything there was either eaten (in the case of the food) or drunk (in the case of the wine). Revised Standard Version‘s wording is not dangerously unclear, but Good News Translation inserts appropriate objects for the two verbs: “ate all the food and drank all the wine.” The two verbs here in Greek have connotations of eating and drinking greedily.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Baruch 2:8

For these two verses, compare the similar wording of Bar 1.20-21 (22).

The connector Yet, which begins verse 8, shows a contrastive relationship between these two verses. Good News Translation maintains this relationship with “Even though” opening verse 7. However, verse 7 in Good News Translation lacks any obvious reference back to Bar 1.20. The following model was suggested there: “And now look at us! These disasters that we are suffering are the result of the terrible things that God had told his servant Moses to threaten us with long ago, at the time when the Lord led our ancestors out of Egypt, so that he might give us a rich, fertile land.” If translators were to follow that model in chapter 1, they could make reference back to it at this point by saying “Even though the Lord brought on us the disasters that he threatened….”

Good News Translation interprets verse 8 to mean that the people did not pray to God that they would abandon their evil thoughts. The Greek can be understood this way (so also New English Bible), but there is another possibility that is rather more likely, namely, that the people did not try to gain the Lord’s favor by abandoning those evil thoughts. (The Greek text does not mention prayer, only “seeking the face of the Lord,” that is, asking for his favor.) If we follow the more likely meaning here, an alternative model for verses 7-8 is:

• Even though the Lord brought on us the disasters that he threatened, we still did not try to win back his favor by turning from our own evil thoughts.

The last phrase, “by turning from our own evil thoughts,” refers back to the text of Good News Translation at 1.21 (22).

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Baruch 3:5

God is asked here to Remember not the iniquities of our fathers but thy power and thy name. Compare Bar 2.32-33, where God predicts of the exiles that they will “remember the ways of their fathers,” as well as “my name.” Since 3.1-8 is a summary of the whole prayer in 2.11–3.8, it is hard not to see the use of the word remember as deliberate on the writer’s part; the prediction is being fulfilled in 3.5-7. But it may be a subtlety too difficult to preserve in translation (see the comments at 2.32-33). The meaning of this verse may be expressed in the following way:

• Stop dwelling on our ancestors’ sins and think about your own power and reputation.

But it must not sound impolite or demanding, of course. We might say, for example,

• Don’t keep thinking about our ancestors’ sins; this is a time to concentrate on your own power and reputation.

In this crisis is literally just “at this time.” Revised Standard Version is unusually bold in reading such strong meaning into so ordinary a phrase, but the people who prayed understood it in this way. Good News Translation captures that sense splendidly with “at a time like this,” which clearly suggests a crisis, but yet is almost a literal translation.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Baruch 3:16

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.