Immediately seized all the high hilltops: We may presume that the subject of this verse refers to the people of Judea, not to the areas that were sent a warning in 4.4, so translators should indicate this. Good News Translation, Revised Standard Version, and Contemporary English Version say that the Judeans occupied the hilltops immediately. This is certainly adequate but not quite right. Immediately means they did the occupying “in advance,” that is, in defensive anticipation of trouble.

Since their fields had recently been harvested: They were able to store up food in these towns in preparation for siege since their fields had recently been harvested. This is unlike the situation that faced Damascus in 2.27. Good News Translation is a helpful model for this clause since it begins well and shifts the passive verb harvested to active: “It was fortunate that they had recently harvested their fields.”

Contemporary English Version reorders the clauses of this verse in a way that some translators will find helpful:

• Since their fields had already been harvested, they immediately began preparing for war by setting up defenses in the hill country, by fortifying the towns there, and by storing up food.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Let us go up: An emphatic expression should be used for let us go up; for example, Good News Translation has “Let’s go ahead!” This is needed to convey the excitement of the moment. In English, this is the kind of situation when a speaker would resort to an idiomatic expression, such as “let’s mow them down” or “let’s make mincemeat of them.”

Lord Holofernes may be rendered “Master Holofernes.”

They will be devoured by your vast army: This is the climax to the speech. The Greek is literally “they will be food for your whole army.” This “food” (devoured) image is used again in 10.12. The imagery helps to highlight the climax. For this clause Good News Translation has “your great army will slaughter them easily,” but this weakens the climax since figurative language is not used. New English Bible does better with “your great army will swallow them whole,” and New Jerusalem Bible with “Your army … will swallow them in one mouthful!” Another idiomatic expression is “Your army will eat them alive!”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

You will pay them back with evil, because they rebelled is literally “you will compensate them with evil compensation because they rebelled.” Moore does well here: “you will make them pay dearly for rebelling against you.” Good News Translation‘s “you can make them pay for their rebellion” is not quite strong enough. An alternative model is “That’s how you can punish them for rebelling against you.”

And did not receive you peacefully means “did not surrender [or, give themselves up] peacefully to you.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

For if he does not choose to help us may be rendered “Even if God does refuse to help us” (Contemporary English Version).

He has power to protect us: Good News Translation has “he still may rescue us.” This does not mean “there is a chance that he will rescue us.” It means “he still has the power to rescue us” (Contemporary English Version), that is, the leaders’ five-day deadline has not in any way limited God’s power to do as he pleases when he pleases. The verb Good News Translation translates as “rescue” really means protect.

To destroy us in the presence of our enemies is literally “to destroy us before the face of our enemies.” Good News Translation may not be right to translate “he may let our enemies destroy us.” Judith may mean what she says literally, “God may even choose to destroy us himself while our enemies look on.” The phrase in the presence of our enemies recalls Psa 23.5. It is possible to take this phrase with both the preceding verbs protect and destroy, and not the latter only.

An alternative translation model for this verse is:

• Even if God refuses to help us within the next five days, he still has the power to protect us any time he chooses. He may even choose to destroy us himself while our enemies are watching.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Make my deceitful words to be their wound and stripe: For deceitful words see the comment on “deceit of my lips” at verse 10. Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version gain force by changing the nouns wound and stripe to verbs. They become “wound and kill,” though “kill” is overstatement. “Bruise” is closer to the meaning.

They have planned cruel things against thy covenant: This clause means “they have planned to do evil things against your Covenant Box.” Covenant probably does not refer to the “agreement” between God and his people, but to the actual “ark” or “Covenant Box” in the temple along with its contents. Translators will most likely have translated the Pentateuch and have a suitable term for the Covenant Box (see Exo 25.10-22).

Thy consecrated house is the temple; Good News Translation renders consecrated by calling the temple “your holy Temple.”

The top of Zion: A number of translations (Good News Translation, New Revised Standard Version, New American Bible, New Jerusalem Bible, Gonzáles and Alonso-Schöckel) consider top of Zion redundant, and simply refer to “Mount Zion.”

Good News Translation takes the house possessed by thy children to mean the land. Notice how Good News Translation‘s sequence in this verse progresses from small to great, as in verse 12: Covenant (the ark and its contents) … the Temple … the city of Jerusalem … the land of Israel. One must note that some versions take the house to refer to the homes of the people (see New American Bible), but this interpretation fits the context less well.

An alternative translation model for this verse is:

• Please help me carry out my deceitful plan to wound and bruise our enemies who have planned to do terrible [or, cruel] things against your Covenant Box, against your temple, and against Mount Zion and the land of Israel.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

A paragraph break is needed at this point. The reader needs to be alerted that Judith is changing the subject.

As for the things Achior said in your council: Achior is introduced here abruptly in most translations. He has not been mentioned since 6.21. The Greek is actually not that abrupt. Judith says something like: “Now regarding what Achior told you in your council….” For council see 6.1.

For the men of Bethulia spared him may be rendered “The people of Bethulia kept Achior alive” (Contemporary English Version).

Two alternative translation models are given for this verse. Both are not abrupt in introducing Achior. The first one is fairly literal; the second one is similar to Good News Translation by combining the clauses that contain the verb said. They can be combined since in both places said refers to Achior telling the people of Bethulia everything he had said to Holofernes. In some languages, though, the repetition will be quite natural.

• Now regarding what Achior told you in your council, we’ve heard all about it, because the men of Bethulia rescued him, and he told us about it.

• Now the men of Bethulia rescued Achior, and he told us what he had said at your war council.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Judith is in fact accepting none of Holofernes’ hospitality. She consumes only the food and wine brought with her from Bethulia. It was prepared for her here by her maid. Good News Translation‘s “But even then Judith ate and drank only…” greatly helps the reader in grasping this point. The Jewish reader would have understood that Judith, even in the midst of moral threat, is holding fast to ritual purity.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

When the Assyrians saw them: This is not simply the Assyrians; it is more precisely the Assyrian sentries, those guarding the camp. Translators may wish to say so. The guards then send word up the chain of command. This is not an entirely orderly procedure, however. Good News Translation makes it sound rather calm “they sent word … these reported….” There is no panic in the camp just yet, but there is the excitement of anticipated battle.

They sent word to their commanders: The verb sent word implies “sent word in all directions.”

Good News Translation combines generals … captains … all their officers into a simple “their superiors,” and Contemporary English Version has “every Assyrian officer.” Technically, this covers everything, but it lacks the vividness along with the stir and commotion the author has given us by picturing the news spreading rank by rank. If a translator has a number of terms in the receptor language for various levels of army commanders, those may be used here although the author seems to be using the terms without technical precision. The soldiers tell their immediate superiors, and they tell theirs, and so on.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.