Remain in your camp may be rendered “Remain where you have set up your tents.”

Keep all the men in your forces with you: Good News Translation has “keep your soldiers in their quarters,” but this may misleadingly suggest the soldiers are in their tents. While Revised Standard Version is possible, the Greek verb used may mean a couple of other things. It may mean “protect, guard,” that is, do not expose your men to guerilla tactics of any kind (so Enslin, New American Bible). It can also be interpreted to mean “hold your soldiers in reserve” (Gonzáles and Alonso-Schöckel). “Stay in your camp and keep your soldiers safe there also” would cover the possibilities for the first half of the verse.

Only let your servants take possession of the spring of water that flows from the foot of the mountain: Only (“Just” in Good News Translation) means “You only have to command…” or “The only thing you must do is command….” In this context the phrase your servants need mean nothing more than “the rest of us.” The Edomites and Moabites are volunteering for the duty. See the next verse. This final sentence may then be expressed “And command us to take control of the spring at the foot of the mountain and guard it carefully.” For spring see 6.11; for foot of the mountain, see 6.13, where “foot of the hill” is used.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Who are you, that have put God to the test: You in this verse is plural. The question Who are you is an accusation. Judith is speaking much the way that God speaks to Job in Job 38. Contemporary English Version uses a strong statement: “You have no right to test God like that.” Put God to the test refers to setting up conditions under which God must act. The town elders have decided to surrender if God does not deliver them within five days (7.30-31). This is “testing” God, seeing if he will do what they want him to do; see Deut 6.16; Matt 4.5-7.

Setting yourselves up in the place of God among the sons of men: As the Revised Standard Version note reads, in the place of God can be interpreted “above God,” but Revised Standard Version is correct; Good News Translation agrees. Among the sons of men means “among human beings.” Good News Translation expresses the idea with “in dealing with human affairs.” Contemporary English Version brings out the meaning clearly for this clause with “you certainly have no business trying to control the lives of people. God is in control of that.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

By the deceit of my lips strike down the slave with the prince and the prince with his servant: Use of the word deceit recalls its use in 9.3. Just as Simeon avenged his sister’s disgrace through deceit, Judith will use deceit to accomplish her goal. Lips refers to “words” and will be translated this way in many languages. Both Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version have helpful models. Good News Translation has “Use my deceitful words to strike…” and Contemporary English Version “Use my deceit to slaughter….” If it sounds strange in a receptor language for “deceit” to kill someone, we may say “Use my lies to cause the Assyrians to die [or, be killed].” Strike down the slave with the prince and the prince with his servant will be too repetitive in many languages since slave and servant have the same meaning in this context. They reflect the use of synonyms in Hebrew poetry. Good News Translation shortens the clause to “strike them all dead, master and slave alike,” while Contemporary English Version has “slaughter the Assyrian rulers and their slaves.”

Crush their arrogance by the hand of a woman: Crush in this verse does not translate the same Greek word as crushest in 9.7. In languages that cannot talk about “breaking” or “crushing” pride, one may say, for example, “let my weak hand make them humble [or, lose face].” On the use of the idiom by the hand of in Judith, see the note on 8.33. The word translated woman is not the usual word. Both Moore and Enslin are insistent that the sense of by the hand of a woman is more “by the hand of a female,” so as to emphasize the weakness of the hand that will humble the mighty Holofernes. In this light, Good News Translation‘s “a woman’s strength” or Contemporary English Version‘s “my strength” can be misread. It sounds like she is speaking of how strong a woman can be, when the emphasis is actually on powerlessness. She is stressing the weakness of a widow against the high and mighty, as the next verse will make certainly clear. Of course it would be seen as especially degrading to be killed by a woman; compare Jdg 9.54. A possible model, then, is “Let my weak hand, the hand of a mere woman, crush….”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Judith came in and lay down: Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version say that Judith came into the tent and “sat down.” Presumably she reclined (lay down) on the lambskins, although the Greek simply says that she got down. New Jerusalem Bible and New English Bible say she “took her place.” Perhaps these elements could be combined without becoming too heavy: “Then Judith entered the tent and took her place on the lambskins beside Holofernes.”

Holofernes’ heart was ravished with her and he was moved with great desire to possess her: The Greek text has three clauses here. They literally read:

(1) Holofernes’ heart was beside itself with her,
(2) and his soul went reeling,
(3) and he could hardly contain his desire to have sex with her.

These are the elements that must be built into the narrative. It appears that Revised Standard Version and Good News Translation combine the second clause into the other two. Combining these clauses is legitimate, but one should be careful not to change the picture of an anxious sex maniac into a sophisticated ladies’ man. His uncontrollable desire for her must be in focus. “Was aroused” in Good News Translation is really too weak. Possess her means, as in Good News Translation, “make love to her.”

For he had been waiting for an opportunity to deceive her, ever since the day he first saw her: This is another somewhat awkward belated introduction of information. The reader may have inferred this from chapter 11, but it was not spelled out there. Perhaps one could approach it this way: “This was what he had been waiting for since he first laid eyes on her.” The specific idea of seduction would then carry over quite easily from the previous sentence.

Contemporary English Version has a helpful model for this verse:

• Judith then entered the tent and sat down on the lambskin. Holofernes was very excited to be with Judith and wanted to sleep with her right away. In fact, he had been waiting for this opportunity since he first saw her.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

The people raised a great shout and made a joyful noise in their city: Good News Translation has also done well here. Compare the literal Revised Standard Version, which doesn’t make the reader want to jump for joy. Good News Translation with “the people cheered so loudly that the whole town echoed with sounds of joy” has actually expanded a bit on New English Bible, which has “the people raised a great shout and made the town ring with their cheers.” It is a helpful expansion, however, since it accents the idea of a joyful noise, which is only implied in New English Bible. The translator’s aim here should be to infuse the description with the triumphant joy felt by the people, and make the reader feel it.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

The Persians trembled at her boldness, the Medes were daunted at her daring: The references to the Persians and the Medes are certainly surprising. The mysterious Arphaxad, who was defeated by Nebuchadnezzar, is described as king of the Medes in 1.1. In 1.7 Nebuchadnezzar calls on the Persians for military help against Arphaxad. Maybe the author of Judith is making a deliberate reference to them here at the end of the story to match the beginning of the story. At any rate, while it is a puzzle for one trying to date the book or analyzing its composition, it need not slow down the translator.

In some languages, these parallel lines repeating similar information may be combined; for example: “Her bravery shocked the Persians and amazed the Medes” or “She was so brave that the Persians trembled with fear and the Medes were amazed.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

He collected a vast number of camels and asses and mules for transport: For a comment on camels, see Tob 9.1. For asses refer to “donkeys” in Tob 10.10. Mules are the offspring of a female horse and a male donkey. They were valued for their strength and endurance in carrying loads. The army was well supplied, so many of these animals were needed for transport, that is, to carry the baggage and equipment.

And innumerable sheep and oxen and goats for provision: For oxen and sheep see Tob 8.19. For goats refer to Tob 2.12. These animals were taken for provision, that is, for the soldiers’ food. Note that they were innumerable (similarly Jdg 6.5; 7.12). Only a finite number of beasts of burden was needed for their purpose, but there was no telling how long the campaign might be and how much food might be needed, so the number of animals taken along for slaughter was virtually infinite.

In cultures where the animals in this verse are unknown, one may say “a large number of pack animals [or, animals for carrying loads] and a huge number of other animals for meat.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.