The first person plural pronouns refer to Holofernes himself, as was mentioned in the previous verse.

It will be a disgrace if we may be rendered “I would be ashamed if…” or “I would lose face if….”

Enjoying her company … embrace her: Here Holofernes’ ambitions become clear. Both terms here refer to sexual intercourse. The first of these verbs is used of intercourse in Dan 13.54 (in Catholic Bibles; Sus 54 in Protestant Apocrypha). The second verb can actually refer to rape, although Holofernes clearly has in mind seducing Judith into willing cooperation, rather than forcing her. Good News Translation captures the mood pretty well, without becoming actually coarse. A bit of crudeness would not be out of order here if it won’t offend readers. Contemporary English Version is quite explicit with “It would be a shame not to sleep with such a beautiful woman.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

The Lord Almighty has foiled them: For a comment on the translation of Lord Almighty, see 4.13. Good News Translation‘s “tricked” (foiled) is the word that Bagoas yelled out in 14.18 when he discovered Holofernes’ headless corpse. It will be helpful to identify them as “Assyrian soldiers”; for example, “But the Lord Almighty tricked the Assyrians.”

By the hand of a woman: “He used a woman to stop them” (Good News Translation) correctly gets across the meaning of this clause, but some may wish to try to keep by the hand of a woman since this phrase is a climax for the frequent image of hand in the book (see the note at 8.33). A woman refers to Judith. With this verse the psalm shifts from the first person singular to the third person to refer to Judith. Compare Jdg 5.7, 12, where Deborah speaks to herself in the second person as she sings. The first person will resume in verse 11. On this matter, see the note above at 16.5.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

As noted above, translators should begin a new paragraph at this point.

Every man of Israel cried out to God: The Greek text does use man here, rather than “person.” Good News Translation‘s “The leaders of Israel” is not correct; the text means “All the men of Israel.” Cried out to God with great fervor may be rendered “prayed earnestly to God.”

They humbled themselves with much fasting: Revised Standard Version and Good News Translation are reading a textual variant in saying that the men of Israel “fasted.” The Greek text for the whole verse reads “Every man cried out to God with great earnestness and humbled their souls with great earnestness.” Some see a problem with the repeated phrase “with great earnestness.” There is some textual support for reading “… humbled their souls with great fasting.” This is a peculiar clause, but it is followed by Moore also. Perhaps the strongest reason for reading “fasted” here is that fasting is clearly spoken of below in verse 13, which can be seen as a repetition of verse 9. New American Bible goes in a different direction by omitting the second occurrence of the phrase “with great earnestness”; there is some slim manuscript support for this as well. New Jerusalem Bible appears to do the same. There is really nothing wrong with the Greek text as it is usually read, and the translator is on good ground in taking some such course as New English Bible: “Fervently they sent up a cry to God, every man of Israel, and fervently they humbled themselves before him.” Another possible model is “All the men of Israel prayed earnestly to God and submitted themselves to him with great fervor.” But if translators feel that fasting should be included in this verse, one may say, for example, “… and submitted themselves to him by going without eating for a time.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Revised Standard Version starts a new paragraph here since Holofernes now says what he will do with Achior. Translators may do what they feel is natural in their language.

You, Achior, you Ammonite hireling: Good News Translation translates “Achior, you are nothing but an Ammonite mercenary.” This conveys the insult implicit in you Ammonite hireling that he has been hired by the Israelites. So one may translate “You are being paid by the Israelites” (compare verses 1-2).

Who have said these words on the day of your iniquity: This is an awkward clause, which means “Your words today have made this day the day of your iniquity.” The real translation problem is finding the appropriate shade of meaning for iniquity. This is a word generally used with reference to offenses against God. New English Bible takes the meaning as “treason,” an offense against his Assyrian overlords (similarly Good News Translation). New English Bible also has a literal understanding of on the day, so it translates “the words you have spoken today are treason.” Other versions interpret on the day figuratively in relationship to iniquity; for example, “a moment of perversity” (New American Bible) and “in a rash moment” (New Jerusalem Bible, also Gonzáles and Alonso-Schöckel). Translators are urged to follow the interpretation taken by Good News Translation and New English Bible. An alternative model is “As you spoke those words today, you were being disloyal to [or, betraying] us.”

You shall not see my face again: This is a conscious note of irony. The next time Achior sees Holofernes, it will be his head only, at 14.6.

Until I take revenge on this race that came out of Egypt: For revenge see 1.12. Holofernes refers literally to the Israelites as “the race/people out of Egypt.” New American Bible translates literally with “this race of people from Egypt,” but this is completely misleading. The Israelites are not from Egypt in any way other than what Achior explained in 5.10-12—they were temporary residents who were enslaved while there. That is where the focus should surely be; Good News Translation feels certain enough of this to omit any reference to Egypt as a geographical entity in “this race of runaway slaves.” Contemporary English Version keeps the reference to Egypt, but shows the temporary residence of the Israelites with “those people who escaped from Egypt.” The word race can be misleading and raise unnecessary questions. Moore’s “nation” or even “people” is more neutral and still literal. But New English Bible‘s “brood of runaways” or Revised English Bible‘s “brood of fugitives” conveys the implicit insult. Translators should try to find a similar expression that conveys the idea of an insult.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

The people of Israel does not refer to all the Israelites, only those in Bethulia. With the beginning of a new section it will be helpful to begin the verse with “When the people in Bethulia saw Holofernes’ army, they….”

Cried out to the Lord their God may be rendered “asked the Lord their God to help them” (so Good News Translation, Contemporary English Version) or “asked the great ruler, the God whom they served, to help them.” For a comment on Lord, see Tob 3.2.

Their courage failed may be translated “they no longer believed that they could defeat the Assyrians.”

The literal all their enemies had surrounded them is somewhat awkward. The point is not that every one of their enemies is present, but that the enemy has them surrounded. Good News Translation‘s “with the enemy all around them” captures the idea well. In English “enemy” can be used collectively to refer to a group of soldiers who are enemies.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

That was why may be rendered “that was the reason.”

Our fathers were handed over to the sword: Our fathers are the “ancestors” mentioned at the end of the previous verse. Were handed over to the sword (by God) means “God let their enemies kill them” (Good News Translation). For sword see 1.12. We may assume the defeat here refers to the actual defeat of Judah by the real Nebuchadnezzar in 587/586 B.C.

To be plundered may be rendered “to have their possessions taken by force” (see 7.26).

They suffered a great catastrophe before our enemies: “A great defeat” (Good News Translation) is a possible translation for a great catastrophe. Before our enemies means “at the hands of our enemies.” It is not the same idiom used in verse 15, where “in the presence/before the face of our enemies” is used.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.