Translation commentary on Judith 13:8

She struck his neck twice: “Raised the sword” (Good News Translation) is not in the Greek text, though one would suppose she did just that.

With all her might may be rendered “as hard as she could” (Good News Translation) or “using all her strength.”

Severed his head from his body is literally “she took his head from him,” which comes close to saying “she relieved him of his head.” Actually, she does take it. She is holding him by the hair, presumably with her left hand. When she has cut the head from the body, using her right hand to wield the sword, she probably drops the sword and the head in order to move the body from the bed and pull down the canopy. Then she gives the head to her maid. Translators would not want technicalities to burden down this furious action, however. “Chopping off his head” (Good News Translation) pretty well says it, but it would have been even stronger as a separate verb: “and chopped his head off.” “Chop” is a good choice of a verb.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Judith 15:2

Fear and trembling came over them may be rendered “They became so afraid that they began to tremble.”

They did not wait for one another, but with one impulse all rushed out: With one impulse means that they all did the same thing, so this clause may be rendered “they all ran out of the camp.” Contemporary English Version has “They ran out of camp in every direction, not waiting for anyone.”

Fled by every path across the plain and through the hill country: The Greek noun for path can refer to a footpath or a road. A word that suggests anything like a highway should not be used. Good News Translation‘s description of the panic in this verse is well told and logically arranged; the only element missing is every path. It could be worked in as follows: “as they tried to escape along any path through the mountains or the valleys.” For plain and hill country, refer to 6.11. Good News Translation uses “valleys” for plain because they fled through the passes in several mountains.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Judith 16:22

Many desired to marry her indicates that these men actually approached her for marriage, rather than merely “wanting” her (Good News Translation). Contemporary English Version has a helpful model for the first two clauses: “Although a lot of men asked to marry her, she always refused and never remarried.”

After Manasseh her husband died and was gathered to his people: These two clauses are combined into one by Good News Translation‘s “after the death of her husband” and Contemporary English Version‘s “after her husband Manasseh died.” But the Hebrew idiom was gathered to his people means something more than simply death (compare Gen 25.8). The author probably uses such language to show respect to the ancestors at the end of the story. The mention of the cave in the next verse serves the same purpose. Compare the dying words of Jacob in Gen 49.29, where Good News Translation translates “I am going to join my people in death.” One could say here “after her husband Manasseh joined his people [or, ancestors] in death.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Judith 1:12

Then Nebuchadnezzar was very angry with this whole region: Then may also be rendered as “This made…” (Good News Translation) or “Their refusal made….” For a comment on “anger,” see Tob 1.18. This whole region refers to “all those people” (Good News Translation).

Swore by his throne and kingdom: Nebuchadnezzar swears by that which he holds dear and precious: his own kingdom. Throne is a symbolic reference to his rule over the kingdom. Good News Translation conveys the force of throne and kingdom with “his entire kingdom.” He is so enraged at the treatment of his messengers that he vows revenge, calling on as mighty a thing as he can think of (compare Jer 51.14; Amos 4.2; 6.8). It is interesting that he does not swear by any gods, but only by his own might. He does not actually, as Good News Translation implies, make a decision that he will risk it all to seek revenge. That would be to admit that he is “only a man,” and not omnipotent. See also the note on 2.12, where Nebuchadnezzar takes an oath in direct discourse. In languages that require direct speech for oaths, an alternative translation is “I solemnly promise, as the one that rules over this great kingdom, that I will take revenge…” or “As the greatest king on earth, I solemnly promise that I will take revenge….” The first sentence may then be rendered “Nebuchadnezzar was very angry and said, ‘As the greatest king in the world, I solemnly promise that I will….’ ”

Surely take revenge on: To take revenge is to “pay back by killing.”

Kill them by the sword: By the sword means that he will use weapons of war to kill them when taking revenge. In many languages it will be more natural to combine the two clauses take revenge and kill them by the sword; for example, “take revenge on all these people by killing everyone in Cilicia….”

The whole territory of Cilicia and Damascus and Syria … the coasts of the two seas: Once again the author reviews the map of the eastern Mediterranean from north to south, but without the same detail of verses 7-10. In many languages it will be helpful to list all these places together at the end of the verse, as Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version do. Damascus appears in the Greek text in a different form from its occurrence in verse 7. Here it is “Damascene;” this indicates the general area around Damascus, and the idea is amply covered in the whole territory of or “the entire population of.” Good News Translation‘s “Judah” is the same as Revised Standard Version‘s Judea. Translators should use the form used in the rest of the Old Testament for “Judah.” It is not immediately evident what is meant by the coasts of the two seas. Although some think it refers to the upper reaches of the White Nile River and the Blue Nile River, most think it refers to the Persian Gulf on the east and either the Mediterranean Sea or the Red Sea to the west. Moore charges that “from the Mediterranean Sea to the Persian Gulf” in Good News Translation “is simply an arbitrary interpretation, not a translation,” but this is unfounded. It is a translation in the sense that it is making clear to the modern reader information that would have been understood by the original readers. And the interpretation involved is not arbitrary. It is well thought-out, completely defensible, and is probably the majority view. The explanatory note in New American Bible supports it. “Persian Gulf” in certain languages will require a descriptive phrase; for example, “the narrow sea south of Persia.”

An alternative translation model for this verse is:

• Nebuchadnezzar was very angry and said, “As the greatest king in the world, I solemnly promise that I will pay back these people by killing everyone in the regions of Cilicia, Damascus, Syria, Moab, Ammon, Judah, and Egypt—this includes everyone from the Mediterranean Sea to the Persian Gulf.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Judith 3:2

Behold is used to attract the attention of the hearer or reader. It is not normally used in modern English, so Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version omit it. However, if a particular language has a word with a similar function, it may be used here.

We, the servants of Nebuchadnezzar, the Great King: The messengers begin by presenting themselves to Holofernes as subjects of his king. They are speaking to Holofernes, not Nebuchadnezzar; see the note on 3.1. The messengers open the speech by identifying themselves as submissive servants. “Slaves” would not be overstating the case, but the word needs to be reserved for verse 4, where “slaves” is clearly meant. Contemporary English Version has “We are servants of the great King Nebuchadnezzar.” Good News Translation has “We remain loyal to you,” but this misconstrues the situation. They have not been loyal; that is why they are being punished.

Lie prostrate before you: This may or may not indicate their actual physical posture while addressing the general. It may be only a figure of speech, so Good News Translation translates the meaning of the figure with “we are ready to serve you.” However, the Good News Translation expression does not convey well the total submission with which the envoys approach their conqueror. Contemporary English Version is better with “We surrender to you….”

There is a threefold offer of submission. At the end of 3.2 the messengers surrender their own persons. At the end of 3.3 they surrender their land, crops, and livestock. At the end of 3.4 they surrender their cities and people. The actual language differs slightly in each case: Do with us … do with them … deal with them.

Do with us whatever you will: This is much more than an expression of readiness to “obey any command” (Good News Translation). It is utter surrender: Kill us if you like; we are yours; we offer no resistance. An alternative translation is “we are completely in your power.”

An alternative translation model for this verse may be:

• We are slaves of the great king Nebuchadnezzar. We surrender to you General Holofernes, and are completely in your power.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Judith 5:12

Then they cried out to their God: The connector “But” (Good News Translation) is probably better than Then in this context since there is contrast here. Cried out to means “prayed to” (Good News Translation, Contemporary English Version).

He afflicted the whole land of Egypt with incurable plagues: Incurable plagues is literally “blows for which there was no healing.” Since not all the plagues were diseases, Good News Translation covers them all and stays faithful to the text by translating “disasters that left the Egyptians helpless.”

And so the Egyptians drove them out of their sight: Greek uses a separate sentence for this event of the Egyptians expelling the Israelites, and in Achior’s narrative it is new information. Good News Translation‘s translation, “When the Egyptians…,” makes the event sound like old information, and perhaps incidental. The expulsion is a result of the plagues; Revised Standard Version makes a legitimate connection with and so the Egyptians …. A better rendering is “So the Egyptians….” In this context out of their sight means “out of their country” (Good News Translation).

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Judith 6:21

Uzziah took him from the assembly to his own house: One may assume that the assembly is over, as Good News Translation indicates, but the Greek says only that Uzziah took Achior home with him from the assembly. However, in some languages the phrase from the assembly will need a verbal expression, so the first sentence may be expressed “When the people had finished meeting together, Uzziah took Achior….”

Gave a banquet for the elders: One may assume that the banquet for the elders is in Achior’s honor as an act of hospitality, although the text does not say so specifically. Evidently the fast spoken of in 4.13 (when the High Priest and his council in Jerusalem hear of Holofernes’ approach) is now over, but the prayers for help continue all night. Note that another “banquet” will be given in this book, in chapter 12, where Holofernes attempts to seduce Judith. For more on this, see the note at 12.10.

All that night they called on the God of Israel for help may be rendered “All that night they prayed to the God of Israel to help them” or “They prayed to the God of Israel all night long and asked him to help them” (Contemporary English Version). For the God of Israel, see 4.12.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Judith 8:3

The men who were binding sheaves may be rendered “the men who were tying the stalks of barley into bundles.” A sheaf was a bundle of harvested stalks of grain, which was tied using a cord, probably made of grasses. Binding sheaves is referred to in Gen 37.7. Good News Translation has avoided the specific work of binding sheaves by simply calling these people “farm workers” (similarly Contemporary English Version). In cultures where this practice is unknown, translators may wish to follow Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version‘s model.

Overcome by the burning heat is literally “the burning heat came on his head.” Good News Translation has “suffered a sunstroke.” Sunstroke is an overheating of the body as a result of too much exposure to the sun, which can result in fever, convulsions, and even coma or death. In some languages there will be no technical word for this condition, so one may describe it; for example, “He had stood a long time in the fields in the hot sun supervising his workers, and he became so hot that he had a fever and went to bed” (similarly Contemporary English Version).

The Greek uses two clauses to say that Manasseh took to his bed and died in Bethulia his city. Good News Translation makes a very small logical jump to combine the two clauses and say that he “died in bed at home in Bethulia.”

So they buried him with his fathers … between Dothan and Balamon: The Greek says nothing about a “family tomb” (Good News Translation) or “family burial place” (Contemporary English Version), but if he was buried with his ancestors, there presumably was one (see the mention of his burial “cave” in 16.23), especially since Manasseh was rich (8.7; compare Gen 49.29). Dothan has been mentioned before (4.6), but Balamon is unknown (see 4.4; 7.3).

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.