Translation commentary on Song of Songs 1:16 - 1:17

At this point we may add a marginal note or use some other means to indicate that the young woman is now the speaker. In this speech she echoes the words of her lover from verse 15, though in slightly briefer form.

The Hebrew text, followed by Revised Standard Version, has used the same terms to describe the beauty of both the young man and the young woman. In many languages, however, it is appropriate to use different adjectives for a man, such as “handsome,” “fine looking.” This can be seen in the Good News Translation use of “handsome” for male beauty.

Behold: see comments above on verse 15.

My beloved: see 1.13. As with the other vocatives, this term can be placed at the beginning of the dialog.

The phrase truly lovely comes from the Hebrew adjective, a term meaning something like “delightful,” “pleasant,” to which is added an emphatic particle, truly or “indeed.” This phrase includes a person’s inner beauty or character and not just external appearance.

We can show that the woman’s praise here mirrors the lover’s praise in verse 15 by the words we choose and how we set out the text. Alternatively we can use some form to show that she is returning the compliment. Bible en français courant says “You too, my love, you are handsome.” For translation we suggest:

• And you, my beloved, how handsome you are!
How wonderful!

Our couch is green: the next group of three related lines describes their secret meeting place under the trees. Most take this clause in the last part of verse 16, and what follows to be a continuation of the young woman’s speech, until the change in speaker at 2.2. A few (for example, Jerusalem Bible) propose that this statement alone belongs to the young woman, with verse 17 being the response of the man. The majority view should probably be followed.

The couch refers to their bed or where they are lying under the trees. The term for couch is not the same as was used in verse 12. Here it describes a booth or temporary shelter where farmers rest in the fields. A general rendering, “the place where we lie,” seems best. Green refers to the luxuriant growth around them, both the grass on which they lie (note Good News Translation “the green grass will be our bed”) and the branches and leaves of the trees above them. A similar secret meeting place is mentioned in 7.11-12. CEV describes this place as the couple’s “wedding bed,” but this rendering is not supported by the text. This clause opens with the emphatic particle used also in the previous line. Its repetition may indicate the young woman’s growing excitement. Most translations do not translate the particle, but it is possible to add “And look! Our couch is green.”

Beams of our house, or roof supports, are a way of speaking about the branches of the trees that form the “roof” over them. House is actually plural in Hebrew, but the meaning is conveyed best by a singular form.

The mountains of Lebanon were famous for their cedars. Timber from these massive trees was used in the building of Solomon’s Temple and the royal palaces. So the young woman is actually comparing her outdoor “bedroom,” where she lies with her “king,” to Solomon’s palace. Some translators are tempted to transliterate the word “cedar,” as it appears many times elsewhere in the Old Testament. In some languages an affix or classifier can mark the word as a tree, so readers will automatically know a type of tree is being referred to. We should note, however, that though the word is associated with Solomon and all his grandeur, it is not crucial to the text. We can simply say “the beams of our house are beautiful, strong trees.” We should avoid at all costs including heavy, descriptive phrases such as “our beams will be trees known as ‘cedar.’ ” This solution destroys all poetic effect in the passage.

Our rafters is an ellipsis; it does not repeat what has already been stated in the previous phrase, that the rafters are those “of our house.” We can make that point clearer if necessary by saying “the rafters of our house [or, room].” The Hebrew term translated rafters is a problem; note the Revised Standard Version/New Revised Standard Version footnote. If we use the parallelism of the Hebrew to assist us, we conclude that rafters refers to some part of a building, most probably the roof. Revised Standard Version rafters is acceptable, but note Jerusalem Bible “panelling” (presumably on the walls), and New English Bible “ceiling” (Revised English Bible has gone back to a translation “rafters”). Probably the best translation is “roof.”

Pine is another type of tree that grows tall and dense, fitting the imagery here. New English Bible thinks it is the “fir tree.” If these trees are not known, it is better to use a descriptive phrase like “tall trees with many leaves.” In desert areas where tree cover is not dense, a descriptive phrase like “large, leafy trees” will be sufficient. We must remember, however, to avoid long descriptive phrases that can destroy the poetic effect.

Good News Translation uses “will be” in these two verbless clauses. In English the present tense is more appropriate in this setting.

Suggested translations are:

• The green grass is our bed.
Branches of cedar trees form a roof;
the pine tree is a canopy over us.

• The grass is our bed, and the branches of the tall trees form a roof over us.

It may be difficult to put this passage into poetic form, but this may be attempted nevertheless:

• And you, my beloved, how handsome you are!
How wonderful you are to me!
Our bed is made of luxurious green,
The beams of our house are thick cedar,
our rafters are [made of] pine.

Quoted with permission from Ogden, Graham S. and Zogbo, Lynell. A Handbook on the Book of Song of Songs. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 1998. For this and other handbooks for translators see here .

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