If thou wilt deal thus with me, kill me at once, if I find favor in thy sight: Moses is speaking to the LORD very directly here, and seemingly respectfully as well. But the combination of the apparently contradictory notions kill and find favor highlights the sharp irony in these words that borders on disrespect. Who could dare speak to God this way? Kill me at once is literally “please kill me to kill.” The Hebrew verb for “kill” is repeated for emphasis. Contemporary English Version renders this clause as “just kill me now,” and New Living Translation has “just go ahead and kill me.” For I find favor in thy sight, see verse 11.
That I might not see my wretchedness is literally “and do not let me see my [own] badness.” But what does this mean? Even the ancient scribes had difficulty at this point and emended the Hebrew text slightly so as not to attribute evil to the LORD. They changed the text from “your badness” to “my badness.” The former reading (“your badness”) is apparently the basis for Good News Translation‘s rendering of this clause, which is “so that I won’t have to endure your cruelty any longer.” This reading refers to God’s cruelty, that is, placing the burden of the people on Moses. Most other versions adopt the latter reading (“my badness”), as in the Masoretic Text; for example, New International Version says “and do not let me face my own ruin,” and NET Bible has “then do not let me see my trouble.” This reading refers to the severe pressures of leadership that Moses is currently experiencing or, more likely, to the worse problems that he will face when he fails to procure meat for the complaining people.
New Living Translation reflects well the Hebrew parallelism in this verse by rendering it as follows:
• If this is how you intend to treat me, just go ahead and kill me. Do me a favor and spare me this misery!”
Quoted with permission from de Regt, Lénart J. and Wendland, Ernst R. A Handbook on Numbers. (UBS Helps for Translators). Miami: UBS, 2016. For this and other handbooks for translators see here .