So the king of Egypt became hostile to them: Good News Translation‘s “the king of Egypt turned against them” is a good idiomatic rendering of the literal “… rose up against them.”

He took advantage of them and set them to making bricks: The Greek is literally “he outwitted them in hard labor and brick.” He took advantage of them (also Good News Translation) is a bit weak. The king “exploited” the people; there is an element of trickery in the verb (compare Exo 1.10, “deal shrewdly”). “Hard labor” should be expressed in set them to making bricks. He did not just “put them to work” (Good News Translation); he subjected them to “hard labor.” One may translate “he forced them to work hard making bricks.” In cultures where bricks are unknown, translators may borrow the English term or one from some other language. It will also be helpful to include a glossary comment on bricks and even have a picture in the text.

And humbled them and made slaves of them: In Greek the subject of humbled and made slaves is “they.” Both Revised Standard Version and Good News Translation ignore this small point. One could insert “the Egyptians” as subject here, but then one encounters pronoun problems in verse 12. It is surely easiest to do as Good News Translation, Revised Standard Version, and others have done here, and keep the king of Egypt as the subject. An alternative translation model is: “The king of Egypt humiliated [or, shamed] them by making them his slaves.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.