Good News Translation begins a new paragraph here since the scene shifts.

This beautiful maidservant will please come to my lord: Bagoas is positively flattering in his approach to Judith; it seems he can hardly hide an evil grin. The principal problem here is how he addresses her. This beautiful maidservant will please come to my lord is literal. This has presented a real challenge to English translators, who have resorted to many different devices to avoid the awkward third person address. Here are some examples: New Revised Standard Version “Let this pretty girl not hesitate to come to my lord,” New English Bible “Now, my beauty, do not be bashful; come along to my master,” New American Bible “So fair a maiden should not be reluctant to come to my lord,” and New Jerusalem Bible “Would this young and lovely woman condescend to come to my lord.” Good News Translation‘s “Lovely lady … the general invites you” is not bad. Contemporary English Version‘s model is also possible: “You are such a beautiful woman that General Holofernes has invited you.” Some of these should give the translator an idea on how to proceed. Two elements are in Bagoas’ description of Judith: she is young and beautiful. An element of subservience is present also.

A number of elements comprise Bagoas’ invitation. In order they are:
A. come
B. to my lord
C. be honored
D. in his presence
E. drink wine
F. be merry
G. become today like one of the daughters of the Assyrians who serve in the house of Nebuchadnezzar

Good News Translation has arranged these in the order BDEAFGC. Translators may arrange these elements in any order making good natural sense.

Drink wine and be merry with us is literally “drink wine with us unto joy.” Be merry with us means “enjoy yourself” (Good News Translation). With us need not be translated literally; it is simply part of Bagoas’ invitation. Judith will be alone with Holofernes.

Become today like one of the daughters of the Assyrians who serve in the house of Nebuchadnezzar: Daughters of the Assyrians means “Assyrian women”; house of Nebuchadnezzar means “Nebuchadnezzar’s palace.” She is invited to think of herself in the company of royalty. Inviting her to serve obviously does not mean to join the “wait staff.” And Judith knows what he means.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.