While over those men alone heavy night was spread: Heavy night describes the darkness as oppressive.
An image of the darkness that was destined to receive them: The darkness that fell on Egypt is likened here to the darkness of death; it is said to be an image or “likeness” of it. In English “foretaste” (Good News Translation) expresses the sense well. For the first two lines translators could say “Only these people were covered by this heavy night [or, a heavy blanket of darkness], but it was only a hint of the darkness that was waiting for them at death [or, when they died].” Another possible model is “It was only over these people that this heavy night [or, darkness] fell….”
But still heavier than darkness were they to themselves: As bad as the darkness was, the real problem was the peoples’ own wickedness, which had brought on the plague in the first place. If Good News Translation does not appear to be a suitable model, translators could try something like this: “But their real burden [or, problem] was not the darkness; it was themselves [or, their own lives/actions].”
Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Wisdom of Solomon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2004. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.
