Thou gavest their wives for a prey: For thou gavest see the note on verse 3. Their wives for a prey can be interpreted “their wives be carried off,” as in Good News Translation, or “their wives for rape,” as Moore puts it. The text is open to several interpretations; translators may be as specific as they think appropriate to the situation. Contemporary English Version has “Their wives were raped,” but we may also say “the Israelites raped their wives and made them slaves.”
Their daughters to captivity: Good News Translation has “their daughters taken captive,” or we may say “They [the Israelites] took their [the Shechemites’] daughters away as captives.”
All their booty to be divided among thy beloved sons: All their booty means “all their possessions” or “all their valuables.” “The Israelites, your chosen people” in Good News Translation is helpful in identifying the Israelites, but the modifying adjective is really beloved (or, “whom you love”) and not “chosen.” The Israelites here consist of the sons of Jacob—Dinah’s brothers. It will be necessary in some languages to put this clause into the active voice as follows: “Your beloved Israelites carried away all their possessions.”
Zealous for thee: “Eager to do your will” translates this in Good News Translation, but the meaning is also taken up in Good News Translation‘s “furious.” Contemporary English Version makes it clear what God’s will involved: “eager to take revenge on.”
Abhorred the pollution of their blood refers to the disgrace done the family by Dinah’s rape. Good News Translation makes this clear with “Dinah’s brothers were furious because of this disgrace to their family.” Dinah’s brothers were passionate for God (zealous for thee), resented the family disgrace, and called on God for help. It is possible to combine zealous for thee with abhorred the pollution of their blood as follows: “Dinah’s brothers were in a holy fury and were eager to take revenge on the Shechemites who had caused their [or, Dinah’s] family to be dishonored [or, to lose so much face].”
Oh God, my God, hear me also, a widow: The closing sentence of this verse takes on a different tone, depending on whether it is read as the close of a paragraph (Revised Standard Version) or as the opening of the next paragraph (Good News Translation, Contemporary English Version). As the close of the first paragraph, it presents a sudden interruption of Judith’s recitation with a plea for God’s help for herself. It is all the more effective for its abruptness. There is contrast between Dinah, who had brothers to help her, and Judith—a widow—who has no one. As the opening of the next paragraph, it sounds like an entreaty for God to pay attention to what she is about to say. Good News Translation weakens the force of the entreaty by using the word “God” only once. Actually this sentence would be quite effective as a paragraph standing alone, were it not for the fact that the next sentence begins with the causal conjunction “For.” That argues for beginning a new paragraph with this entreaty. The confession Judith makes in verse 5 is the basis on which she calls on God here. Even if “For” is omitted, as in Good News Translation, Contemporary English Version, and New American Bible, the connection with what follows is made by the placement of the paragraph break.
An alternative translation model for this verse is:
• You let your beloved Israelites rape the wives of the Shechemites and take away their daughters as slaves. Dinah’s brothers were furious and were eager to take revenge on the Shechemites because their family had been disgraced [or, lost so much face], and so they called on you to help them. That’s why you let them carry off all the possessions of those people.
O God, the God whom I worship, I am a widow. Please listen to my prayer.
Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.