Then the men of Israel came down from their city: Good News Translation begins the paragraph with “Later,” which suggests a greater lapse of time than the author really had in mind. Revised Standard Version‘s Then shows a temporal progression—the next event in the story. Other possible introductory words or phrases are “When the Assyrians had returned,” “Not long after that,” or simply “After that.” For a comment on men of Israel, see 6.10. Where the Greek has their city … Bethulia, Good News Translation has “Bethulia … the town.” This is a helpful reversal. Since the Israelites came down the hill to get Achior, the downward movement should be kept.

Found him; and they untied him: Both Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version combine these two clauses; “they untied Achior” implies that they found him.

And placed him before the magistrates of their city: Placed him does not mean they had been carrying him and then put him down. It simply means they “took him.” Magistrates translates a very general term in Greek, meaning “leaders.” Magistrates suggests officials with a judicial function, which is not in fact implied. However, these “leaders” will need to be distinguished from the “elders” in verse 16; obviously they have greater authority than the “elders.” When translators select terms for these two categories, the authority level should be considered. In some languages “chiefs” may be the more natural equivalent for Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version‘s “town officials.”

Revised Standard Version and Good News Translation have only one sentence in this verse, but some translators may wish to divide this verse into two sentences. Contemporary English Version begins a new sentence near the end with “They took him to the town officials.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.