Every one went out, and no one, either small or great, was left in the bedchamber: This part of the verse is simply a repetition of verse 1, so a new paragraph may be started here rather than at verse 3. Good News Translation has “All the guests and servants were now gone, and Judith and Holofernes were alone in the tent.” Good News Translation‘s translation assumes there were two groups of people. Good News Translation is deriving this from its interpretation of 12.10, as well as from no one, either small or great in this verse. But no one, either small or great is nothing more than the Hebrew idiom for “absolutely no one/no one at all.” One must avoid taking this literally since obviously Judith and Holofernes were there. Despite Good News Translation‘s misunderstanding of two groups here, its approach to the verse is quite good. It can be reworded to say “Everyone was now gone. Judith was alone in the tent with Holofernes.” Worded in this way, the suspense has been drawn out as far as it can go. The reader is breathless. Something is about to happen. To say “Judith was alone in the tent with Holofernes” suggests that Judith is the active one of the two.
Then Judith, standing beside his bed, said in her heart: Now the pause is over, and there is some movement as Judith rises to her feet and looks down at Holofernes. This would be an appropriate place for a paragraph break, even though it is in the middle of a verse. “Judith stood” (Good News Translation) suggests that Judith is already standing. Nothing so far has suggested that. It is better for the storyline to have Judith stand at this point (the Greek allows this); it signals the end of the pause and the beginning of the action, though it starts off slowly. Said in her heart refers to a silent prayer. For this sentence one may translate “Judith now rose to her feet, and standing over Holofernes, silently prayed….” We need not repeat at this point that Holofernes is on his bed, though it is literally in the text, since we were told that in verse 2, and he hasn’t gone anywhere since then. To say that Judith is “standing over Holofernes” correctly pictures the scene and makes it dramatic.
O Lord God of all might becomes “O Lord, God Almighty” in Good News Translation. Compare 9.14, where Judith addresses God as “God of all power and might.” Good News Translation is not wrong in its translation, but in Judith’s silent prayer for help she is essentially asking God to give her a portion of his might/strength. This is lost in “God Almighty.” One could avoid a literal translation and still get the meaning across with “O Lord God, source of all strength….” In some languages this phrase may be too complicated or burdensome (see the problem of translating Lord in Tob 3.2). In such cases one may simply say “O God, source of all strength….”
Look in this hour upon the work of my hands for the exaltation of Jerusalem: “Help me…” in Good News Translation misses a vivid picture. Judith is standing and looking down on Holofernes, about to kill him. There is power in hearing Judith call on God to look. Once again the “hand” imagery occurs in the work of my hands; see the note on 8.33. With the phrase the exaltation of Jerusalem, Judith is remembering—and using the very words of—the blessing given her by the elders of Bethulia before she set out on her mission (10.8). Exaltation here refers to “honor,” so this phrase may be rendered “so that Jerusalem may receive honor” or “so that people everywhere may praise [or, honor] Jerusalem.”
An alternative translation model for the prayer here is:
• O Lord, God of all strength, look favorably now at what I am about to do for the glory of Jerusalem.
Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.