Judith said to them: At first it is not clear to whom them refers. But in verse 3 it seems clear enough she is speaking to the assembled people (also 13.12), and not simply Uzziah and the town council. So one may translate “Judith said to the people.”
Listen to me: “Please” in Good News Translation‘s “please follow my advice” may create the wrong impression. She is indeed being polite, but she is not asking or begging that the elders do something they don’t really want to do. Contemporary English Version is better with “Listen to this plan.”
My brethren: Good News Translation “My friends” is an attempt at an appropriate address to the people instead of the literal my brethren. It still has an unnatural ring to it, but it is probably the “My” that does it. “Friends” or even “Brothers” sounds more natural in English, although some languages will prefer “My elders and younger ones.” Some address should be chosen that shows respect and the sense that Judith and the men are bound together in a common cause.
Hang it upon the parapet of your wall: Parapets are projections from the wall that allowed archers to cluster together and shoot at one target area. Judith suggests hanging the head from the parapet because it would be in a particularly obvious place. Good News Translation has nothing to correspond to this, but nothing particularly is sacrificed. One could say “from a high point on the wall,” “from some strong point on the wall,” or even “from some point on the wall where it can be easily seen.” Compare the display of Nicanor’s head from the wall of Jerusalem in 1 Macc 7.47; 2 Macc 15.35, and the display of Saul’s head in 1 Sam 31.10. The text does read your wall, which sounds like a peculiar thing to say. If there is anything to be read out of it, it may be that she is gently chiding the people of the town for their lack of courage: “This is your defensive wall; I didn’t need one.” However, both Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version have “the town wall,” which is sufficient.
Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.