The slaughter of our brethren and the captivity of the land: Slaughter is connected to our brethren (New Revised Standard Version “our kindred,” Good News Translation “our people”) and captivity to the land. Captivity is a word more appropriate for the taking of captives into exile than for the military occupation of a country, so Good News Translation has “slaughter and captivity of our people” and New English Bible “slaughter and deportation of our fellow-countrymen.” We may also use verbal expressions for slaughter and captivity as follows: “the enemy will kill our people and take them captive to a foreign land.”

The desolation of our inheritance: Our inheritance means “our land.” Desolation of the land may refer to its depopulation or to its being laid waste (Good News Translation “destruction”) or both.

He will bring upon our heads among the Gentiles: The clause he will bring upon our heads is used in the Greek of Jdg 9.57. It appears in the middle of the verse, but Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version move it to the beginning of the verse. Good News Translation has “He will hold us responsible,” and Contemporary English Version “He will punish us.” For Gentiles see 4.12.

We shall be an offense and a reproach in the eyes of those who acquire us: New English Bible makes those who acquire us the subject of this clause by translating “Our masters will regard us with disgust and contempt.” An offense is something that is disgusting; a reproach is something contemptible. Good News Translation turns the nouns offense and reproach into verbs: “We will be despised and mocked.” “Mocked” is not as good a choice as “scorned” for reproach. One might translate “We will be slaves, and the people who own us will treat us with disgust and contempt [or, scorn].”

The structure of the complicated sentence in this verse reads like this in Greek:

The slaughter … captivity … desolation … he will bring on our heads among the nations wherever we will be slaves there and we will be an offense and reproach before our owners.

One can see from this that Good News Translation, although considerably reordered, has all the ideas, and has them smoothly expressed. Another alternative translation model for this verse is:

• He will hold us responsible for the slaughter and captivity of our people, and for the destruction of this land we call our own. Foreigners who take us off to their own countries as their slaves will despise and mock us.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.