The LORD is a man of war is literally “Yahweh a man of combat”—there is no verb. Good News Translation has “The LORD is a warrior.” It may be difficult to speak of Yahweh as a man, so one may change the metaphor to simile, “Yahweh is like a man of war” or “The LORD is like a warrior.”

The LORD is his name is just two words, “Yahweh his-name.” The problem here is that the English word LORD is a title and not a name. It is better to use “Yahweh” here, or at least have a footnote explaining that Yahweh is what is written, but in the oral tradition ʾadonay (“LORD”) is what is read aloud. (See the comment at 3.14-15.) One may also change the order of the two lines; for example,

Yahweh is his name,
and he is like a warrior.

Quoted with permission from Osborn, Noel D. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Exodus. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 1999. For this and other handbooks for translators see here .