The cold north wind blows: The Greek does not mention the Lord sending the cold north wind, as in Good News Translation. There is nothing wrong with Good News Translation here, but following Revised Standard Version will be simpler.
And ice freezes over the water: New Jerusalem Bible says “and ice forms on the water,” which is better than either Revised Standard Version or Good News Translation. We are not talking about bodies of water freezing solid, as Good News Translation seems to suggest. Better models for the first two lines of this verse are “The cold north wind blows and ice forms on the water” and “… and the water becomes so cold it stops flowing.”
It rests upon every pool of water is literally “It rests on every gathering of water.” Good News Translation chooses two words for small bodies of water, so that of water becomes unnecessary. This line is still talking about only the surface freezing. Good News Translation “freezes over” is an English idiom to describe this.
And the water puts it on like a breastplate: A breastplate was a piece of body armor worn by a soldier on his chest. “Armor” is sufficient. Good News Translation “putting on a coat of icy armor” keeps the imagery, but adding “icy” helps keep it clear. An alternative model for the last two lines of this verse is “the surface of every lake and pond [or, every pool of water] becomes hard just like a coat of icy armor.”
Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Sirach. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2008. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.
