The following verses refer to a narrative in Num 16. This is a good place for a paragraph break, as in Good News Translation. Good News Translation opens with “Once,” which is a device that gives notice to English-speaking readers that a narrative is about to begin. Some such signal would be helpful in other languages also.

Outsiders conspired against him, and envied him in the wilderness: These people were Outsiders in that they were not eligible to be priests. Another way to state it is “some men who were not priests” (Contemporary English Version). In Good News Translation in the wilderness is moved forward and becomes “while the people were in the wilderness.” Why Good News Translation names Moses is puzzling. In Num 16 the rebellion is directed against both Moses and Aaron, but here we are clearly talking about Aaron, and he is the person who should be named. And since this begins a paragraph, the name is needed, rather than the pronoun him the first time it occurs. A possible alternative for the first two lines is “Once, while the people of Israel were in the wilderness [or, desert], an angry group of men who were not priests became jealous of Aaron and rebelled against him.” As in Good News Translation, this model moves up the word “angry” as a rendering of in wrath and anger from the end of the verse.

Dathan and Abiram and their men and the company of Korah, in wrath and anger: In Good News Translation their men and the company of become simply “their supporters,” which is an economical move.

An alternative model for this verse is:

• Once, while the people of Israel were in the wilderness, an angry group of men who were not priests became jealous of Aaron and rebelled against him. These were Dathan [or, They were led by Dathan], Abiram, and Korah with their supporters.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Sirach. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2008. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.