The Persian officials sent a report to King Darius in the traditional form of a letter. The report states only facts with no opinion being expressed:
1) they went to Jerusalem,
2) they observed the state of the building project,
3) they requested information about authorization for the project and a list of names, and
4) they received the reply of those responsible for the project.

Now they were requesting confirmation of this information from the royal archives.

Be it known to the king: The message begins in the formal style of a report (see the comments on Ezra 4.12). Revised Standard Version translates the letter formally while Good News Translation “Your Majesty should know” is an equivalent but more natural English style.

We went expresses the meaning of an exclusive first person plural form. They are saying “we” in the sense of those speaking only, and not “we” inclusive of the king to whom they are writing.

Province of Judah: See the comments on Ezra 2.1.

To the house of the great God: The Persian officials refer to the God of Israel as the great God (also Neh 8.6). The same designation for the God of Israel has been found in Persian tablets from Persepolis, and thus it is not strange for these Persian officials to use this title. It is used by them as a term of respect, not to indicate that he is the supreme or most powerful God.

It is being built with huge stones, and timber is laid in the walls: The Temple is described as being made of huge stones. These were large, square-cut stones used for walls and buildings. The Aramaic word translated huge means “hewn” (so New Jewish Publication Society’s Tanakh) or “polished,” but most versions understand it here to refer to their large size. And there was timber … laid in the walls. Timber is lumber or “wooden beams” (Good News Translation). The Aramaic word rendered walls refers to the walls of a building. Here it refers to the walls of the Temple. A description given in Ezra 6.4.

The work is described with passive verbs, It is being built and timber is laid. The writers focus first on what is being done to the Temple and not on the people who are doing the work. For languages that do not have the passive verb form, New International Version provides a good alternative with active verbs as follows: “The people are building it with large stones and placing the timbers in the walls.” In some languages an indefinite “they” may be used with active verbs instead of the passive verbs.

This work goes on diligently and prospers in their hands: These two clauses are two parallel and synonymous ways of describing the state of the work. In the first clause the term diligently basically means “in full measure” and can also be translated as “thoroughly,” as in New English Bible: “The work was being done thoroughly.” New Jewish Publication Society’s Tanakh says it “is being done with dispatch.” In many languages translators will need to use an active verb form, for example, “the work that they are doing, they are doing it thoroughly.”

The work … prospers in their hands, that is, “it is advancing in their hands” (Bible de Jérusalem) or “it is successful in their hands” (Nouvelle version Segond révisée). New English Bible says the work “was making good progress under their direction” (similarly New International Version). It may be useful to restructure this clause while still keeping an idiom that is similar to the one in Aramaic, for example, “the work there in their hands goes forward.” Nevertheless, the focus should be kept clearly on the work and the Temple and not on the people.

At the end of the verse Revised English Bible adds “under the direction of the elders,” reflecting 1 Esdras 6.8 and providing an antecedent to “those elders” in the next verse. But “those” does not require an antecedent. It is used there to belittle the elders (see Hebrew Old Testament Text Project). The addition of “elders” in this verse is not recommended (Hebrew Old Testament Text Project, B rating).

Quoted with permission from Noss, Philip A. and Thomas, Kenneth J. A Handbook on Ezra. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2005. For this and other handbooks for translators see here .