The point of view changes with verses 21-23. The whole section from 2.11 to 3.8 is a prayer from the point of view of the Jewish exiles in Babylonia. But these verses are spoken from the point of view of a prophet in Jerusalem before the exile. These words are contained in no single section in the books of the prophets. They are a blend of several passages from Jeremiah in the following order: 27.12; 27.9; 7.34; 48.9. There are also other passages in Jeremiah that are similar, such as 33.10-11.
Thus says the Lord: This is of course the formula used many times in the books of the prophets, often translated by Good News Translation as “The Lord says.” Here Good News Translation omits the formula, and other translators should give serious consideration to doing the same. It adds no new information—verse 20 has already told us that the Lord will be speaking—and it creates a structural problem. What we have is a quotation (the Lord speaking, 2.21b-23) within a quotation (the prophets speaking, 2.21-23) within a quotation (Baruch’s book, 1.15–5.9) within a quotation (the people’s cover letter, 1.10-14), following the narrator’s introduction (1.1-9).
This is all too complicated for anyone to follow. If the translator does not put the whole prayer in quotes (as recommended above; see the comments on Bar 1.15-18), then quotes may be used here helpfully, as long as single quotes immediately following Thus says the Lord can be avoided. There are two ways to avoid them. One is to omit the clause Thus says the Lord, as Good News Translation does. If, however, the translator wishes to preserve it, a simple colon after it with no single quotes would be satisfactory. But the best solution is to omit the clause as redundant. Notice that in verses 21 and 23 the Lord speaks, but in verse 22 the Lord is referred to in the third person.
Bend your shoulders and serve …: For Bend your shoulders, “Bend your backs” (Good News Translation) is probably more appropriate in English. The image is one of meekly submitting to a yoke (Jer 27.11-12) or carrying a heavy load on the back, as a laborer would. In languages where this expression will sound strange and unnatural, we may say “Obey and serve….”
The king of Babylon: Since Nebuchadnezzar ruled over the whole country of Babylonia and not just Babylon, its capital city, Good News Translation prefers to refer to “the king of Babylonia” (see the comments on Bar 1.9).
You will remain in the land: This is spoken from the point of view of a prophet in Jerusalem; see the comments above. “You can remain in the land” (Good News Translation) is an alternative rendering, with the meaning “I will allow you to remain….”
Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.