Look down from thy holy habitation: Thy holy habitation is of course heaven, as Good News Translation says. Nearly the same clause here is found at Deut 26.15, where Good News Translation translates it a bit more adequately: “Look down from your holy place in heaven.” This keeps the sense of the original text while identifying the reference. However, holy means “belonging to God,” so we may also translate “Look down from your home in heaven.”

Consider us: Good News Translation gives more detail about what the people want, which is for God to take notice of their misery. Another possible model is “Please notice how we are suffering.” We may alternatively translate the first sentence as follows: “O Lord, we are suffering terribly! Please look down from your home in heaven and think about [or, pay attention to] us.”

Incline thy ear … and hear; open thy eyes … and see: These same clauses are found in 2 Kgs 19.16 and Dan 9.18. The images here picture God as a person, opening his eyes, and cocking his head to hear better. Good News Translation accepts the second image by translating “open your eyes and look upon us” since this is natural in English. However, English has difficulty with the image of the ear, so Good News Translation sacrifices it and translates simply, but adequately, “Listen to our prayer.” Contemporary English Version has “Listen when we call out to you.”

The connector for in this context means “because.”

The dead who are in Hades: In Greek mythology Hades was the realm of the dead. It is very close to the Hebrew idea of Sheol, which it surely translates here. Good News Translation customarily translates the term as “the world of the dead.” Another option, suggested by New English Bible and Moore, would be “the dead, who are in their graves.”

Whose spirit has been taken from their bodies may be rendered “who have no life in them.”

Will not ascribe glory or justice to the Lord: The Greek text has only one verb rendered ascribe for the objects glory and justice, but for naturalness in English Good News Translation uses a separate verb for each object, saying “cannot offer praises to you or proclaim how just you are.” New English Bible is similar with “it is not they who sing the Lord’s praises or applaud his justice.” Note that this verse is addressed to the Lord, but here it speaks of the Lord in the third person. Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version avoid this awkwardness by maintaining the second person address.

For the idea that the dead cannot praise God, see Psa 6.5; 30.9; Isa 38.18.

An alternative translation model for verses 16-17 is:

• O Lord, we are suffering terribly! Please look down from your home in heaven and think about [or, pay attention to] us. Listen when we cry to you. Look at us. The dead, who are in their graves, have no life, so they cannot praise you or tell you how fair [or, just] you are.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.