A paragraph break is appropriate here since the scene switches to Judas and his men (so Revised Standard Version, Good News Bible).

When Maccabeus and his men got word that … may be rendered “When Judas and his soldiers heard [or, found out] that….”

Lysias was besieging the strongholds: The previous verse says Lysias attacked only one fortress. But Judas and his men heard that he was besieging several (surrounding) fortresses. Translators need to use a plural expression for strongholds, as in Good News Bible with “forts.”

They and all the people, with lamentations and tears: Unlike in 2Macc 10.25-26, Judas and the other Jews were genuinely alarmed here. Perhaps they thought that when they had defeated Timothy, their troubles were over. They and all the people refers to Judas, his soldiers, and all the other Jewish people. So we may say “they and everyone else” (Contemporary English Version). For the synonyms lamentations and tears, Good News Bible has “cried” and “wept,” which other languages may find helpful. Translators should try to use two synonyms here.

Besought the Lord to send a good angel to save Israel: In their prayers they did not simply ask for victory, but for a good angel to save them. The Greek word for angel literally means “messenger” (see the comments on 1Macc 7.41), and this is probably how they conceived the five men of 2Macc 10.29. In Exo 23.20-23 the Lord promised an angel (or messenger) to lead the Israelites as they encountered hostile tribes and nations, but this angel could also punish the Israelites; perhaps this is why the people here asked for a good angel. In English the adjective good is unnecessary, since angels are viewed as good.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on 1-2 Maccabees. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2011. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.