When the men of the city saw that the Jews had gained control of the city as they pleased: The men of the city is adequately expressed as “the people” by Good News Bible, but it may be better to say “the people of Antioch.” The Jews had gained control of the city as they pleased means the Jewish soldiers were in a position to do anything they pleased in the city without opposition. Good News Bible has “the Jews had complete control of the city,” and Contemporary English Version translates “the Jews had taken over their city.”

Their courage failed: The pronoun their refers to the people of the city. Earlier they had been in a violent revolt against the king, but when they were beaten down by the Jews, they lost their enthusiasm. Their courage was replaced by fear, so Contemporary English Version provides a helpful model for this clause, saying “they were terrified.”

And they cried out to the king with this entreaty: Good News Bible says “and appealed to the king, requesting,” which does not capture the desperation of the people. It suggests a quiet, formal occasion. Here the people were in the streets, crying out loudly to the king in the palace. A better model is “and begged Demetrius to help them by shouting.”

An alternative model for this verse is:

• When the people of Antioch realized that the Jews were in complete control of their city, they were terrified, and begged Demetrius to help them. They shouted….

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on 1-2 Maccabees. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2011. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.