3:19b

and do not be harsh with them: One specific way that husbands can love their wives is by not treating them harshly. To treat someone harshly is the opposite of the qualities that Paul listed in 3:12 (compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience). It is best to translate this as a negative command: “do not…” But if it is difficult to translate it this way, you can translate it as a positive command. For example:

and be gentle with them (New Century Version)

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