And I said may be rendered “I replied” (Good News Bible) or “I answered” (Contemporary English Version).

No, my lord, but because of my grief I have spoken: Uriel challenged Ezra’s motivation for speaking to God as he had just done. Ezra defends himself by saying he spoke those words in grief. This sentence may be rendered “No, sir, that’s not the reason I said these things. I was so filled with sorrow [or, frustration] that I spoke like this.”

For every hour I suffer agonies of heart: Every hour may be translated “any time” or “whenever.” I suffer agonies of heart is literally “my kidneys torment me” (compare Psa 73.21), which refers to mental anguish that can produce physical pain. The Latin word for heart is literally “kidneys.” In many languages some other part of the body will be referred to when describing extreme anguish that is followed by bodily pain.

While I strive to understand the way of the Most High may be translated “while I try to understand the way God Most High works [or, does things].” For the Most High, see the comments on 2 Esd 3.3.

And to search out part of his judgment means Ezra is confounded by trying to consider even a fraction of God’s ways; he is not even trying to understand it all.

Alternative models for this verse are:

• “It’s not that, sir,” I said. “I talked like that because of my sorrow [or, frustration]. Whenever I try to understand the way God Most High works, or even part of what he does, I am in such anguish that I suffer actual pain.”

• I answered, “No, sir, that’s not the reason I said these things. I spoke like that because of….”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on 1-2 Esdras. (UBS Helps for Translators). Miami: UBS, 2019. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.