For terror and bodily trembling had come over the man may be translated “He was so afraid that his body was trembling.” English has the idiom “shaking with fear.” Other languages will have similar idioms that will be effective here.

Which plainly showed to those who looked at him may be rendered “People could plainly see.”

The pain lodged in his heart refers to pain that would not go away. It does not refer to physical pain, but to mental distress.

This verse may be rendered:

• People could plainly see the pain he felt in his heart, and his whole body was shaking with fear.

Verses 16 and 17 may be combined by saying:

• The High Priest was in agony [of soul]. His face was pale and sorrowful, and his whole body was shaking with fear. People could plainly see the pain he felt in his heart, and it broke their own hearts just to look at him [or, our hearts broke just looking at him].

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on 1-2 Maccabees. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2011. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.