Good News Translation (also Contemporary English Version) is able to simplify Achior’s account by joining verses 7-8. Verse 8 repeats verse 7, but in a bit more detail. Moore makes the reasonable suggestion that verse 8 is a scribal addition, so he puts it within parentheses in his translation.

At one time they lived in Mesopotamia: Here the northern part of Mesopotamia is in view. It refers to the region around Haran, mentioned in Gen 11.31.

Because they would not follow the gods of their fathers who were in Chaldea: They would not follow the gods of their fathers means “they refused to worship their ancestors’ gods” (Good News Translation). Contemporary English Version combines this clause with the first clause in verse 8 since they are close in meaning: “But the Israelites refused to follow the customs of their ancestors or to worship the Babylonian gods.” It is not clear who is described by the relative clause who were in Chaldea. Does it refer to the gods or their fathers? Good News Translation simply leaves Chaldea (Babylonia) out of these verses, and no harm is done since this information can be left implied. In our judgment the relative clause should be understood as referring to the ancestors, not the gods.

Many of the pronouns are ambiguous in Revised Standard Version‘s verse 8, so they need clarification. They had left … they worshiped … they had come … refer to “this people” in verse 6. They (the Chaldeans) drove them (this people) out from the presence of their (the Chaldeans’) gods … they (this people) fled …. Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version are clear about all these pronouns, and New Revised Standard Version has largely corrected the problem.

They had left the ways of their ancestors: This means “they had given up the traditional religion of their people” to worship the God of heaven whom they had come to know.

They worshiped the God of heaven, the God they had come to know: An important detail missing from Good News Translation‘s combined verses is the statement that this God of heaven is the God they had come to know. A possible way to include this is “Instead, they started worshiping another God they had come to know, the God of Heaven.” God of heaven is a divine title used by the Jews during the Persian period, perhaps appropriated from the Persians. Compare Ezra 1.2; 5.12; 2 Chr 36.23; Dan 2.37; Tob 10.11. An alternative translation model for God of heaven is “God who lives in heaven.”

They drove them out from the presence of their gods: The biblical story says nothing about Abraham’s family being driven out of their ancestral home, but the idea is found in the writings of Josephus. Achior makes “driving out” a theme in his speech. In verse 12 the Egyptians drive out the Israelites and in verse 16 the Israelites drive out the Canaanites. This clause probably means that “they [the Babylonians] forced them [the ancestors of the Israelites] to leave Chaldea where their gods were.”

And lived there for a long time: Both Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version are a bit misleading in using the word “settled” here. The stay was temporary. So and lived there for a long time is sufficient.

Contemporary English Version has a helpful model for verses 7-8:

• But the Israelites refused to follow the customs of their ancestors or to worship the Babylonian gods. Instead, they started worshiping another God, the God of Heaven. The Babylonians immediately forced the Israelites to leave their country, and they settled in Mesopotamia and lived there a long time.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.