Translation commentary on Baruch 3:7

Translators may omit the connector For at the beginning of this verse since the verse is starting a new thought.

Thou hast put the fear of thee in our hearts in order that we should call upon thy name: Ordinarily, the idea found so often in the Old Testament of fearing God is expressed in translation in terms of worship or prayer. This is harder to do here, since it creates the odd statement that God made us worship him in order that we should worship him. Here, as in Jer 32.40, which is somewhat similar in wording, Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version have retained the idea of fear. It is not entirely out of place here, since the writer is attributing the people’s repentance to God’s fearsome punishments. This is indeed a legitimate component of the meaning, but on a dial with “scared” on one side and “reverent, in awe” on the other, the needle points more toward the “reverent” side here. The following model is wordy, but it comes close to the idea here: “You have put deep within us a great respect for your power, so that we would know where to turn for help.” Such a rendering would lead smoothly into the next statement.

In our exile: Good News Translation “Here in exile” gently reminds the reader of the situation, and neatly recalls the effective use of “There in the land of your exile” in Bar 2.32. For exile see Bar 2.30.

We have put away from our hearts … means “we have repented….” Good News Translation “we have turned away from the sins of our ancestors” is straightforward and precise. We may also render it as “we have stopped doing all the evil things that our ancestors did.”

An alternative translation model for this verse is:

• You have put deep within us a great respect for your power, so that we would turn to you to help us. Here in the land of our exile we will praise you [or, tell you how great you are]. For we have stopped doing all the evil things that our ancestors did.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Baruch 4:2

Turn, O Jacob, and take her: Jacob here, as in Bar 3.36, refers to the people of Israel, who are being addressed. (Recall that in the broadest context, this poem on Wisdom is part of an admonition to the Jews as part of Baruch’s book; see Bar 1.1.) The idea of Turn is “looking for guidance to” or “seeking help from.” Take her may be expressed as “take hold of her” (Good News Translation), but Contemporary English Version has “keep her with you always.” Another way to translate this first line is “People of Israel, you must seek guidance from Wisdom and always follow her advice.”

Walk toward the shining of her light: Good News Translation “Make your way” (also New Jerusalem Bible) captures the sense of the Greek verb here better than walk. Walk toward the shining of her light is literally “make your way toward splendor in the face of her light.” Good News Translation “Make your way toward the splendor of her light” is a legitimate interpretation of the clause, but so is New American Bible “walk by her light toward splendor.” Much more likely, however, “the splendor” we are to move toward is the light that Wisdom gives. So Contemporary English Version has “Her light shines brightly, so walk toward it.”

An alternative model for this verse is:

• People of Israel, you must seek guidance from the wisdom expressed in God’s Law and always follow its advice. Its light shines brightly, so walk toward it.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Baruch 4:34

This verse presents God as speaking in the first person. As suggested above in the comments on verse 30, the task will be much easier if we shift this into the third person. Good News Translation does not do this, but is forced to shift the third person in verse 35 into first person. But this creates an abrupt transition to the first person at verse 34. If Good News Translation intends verse 3l to begin God’s speaking, it does not indicate it by quotation marks.

And I will take away her pride in her great population: Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version have reversed the lines of this verse, but in view of the fact that the first line is closely connected with the last line of the previous verse, it may be wiser not to do this. Notice that there is a problem with the tense of “took pride” in Good News Translation. From the point of view of the writer, Babylon still exists, has not fallen, and still is taking pride in her population. This is the only verse in Baruch in which this problem appears. All other references to events are clearly either past or future. The Greek text expresses the idea of pride with a noun (see Revised Standard Version), but if this noun is translated as a verb, a past tense may distort the picture.

Good News Translation shifts focus ever so slightly by having God take away Babylon’s population rather than her pride in that population. This is easily acceptable, but there are other ways of rendering this verse and keeping the original focus; for example:

• She is proud of her great population, but God will take away her people, and turn her proud boasts into grief [or, mourning].

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Letter of Jeremiah 1:20

When their faces have been blackened by the smoke: The reference is to the residue of soot from the lamps burning in the temple. Contemporary English Version makes this active by saying “when the smoke in the temple makes their faces black.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Letter of Jeremiah 1:52

The connector For may be omitted since this verse begins a new section.

They cannot set up a king over a country: Compare verse 34. They must be identified as the idols. Cannot set up a king means “don’t have the power to make someone king” (Contemporary English Version). Good News Translation and Contemporary English Version do not express explicitly the phrase over a country since any king is, by definition, a king over a country.

Give rain to men: Give rain may be rendered “cause rain to fall.” Here Good News Translation omits to men: it adds nothing to the meaning just like over a country in the previous clause.

In the Greek text there is a parallel between king … country and rain … men, but it is a purely formal parallel that dissolves in translation with no loss of meaning. The two verbs here, set up and give, as well as “judge” and “deliver” in the next verse, are emphatically negated.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on The Prayer of Azariah and the Song of the Three Young Men 1:12

If integrated into the book of Daniel: 3.35

Do not withdraw thy mercy from us: Good News Translation has a much better choice of a verb here: “Do not withhold your mercy from us.” In the sorry state in which the exiles were living, it is more appropriate to have them asking God to show mercy, rather than to have them asking him to not take it away. So we may translate “Please keep on showing mercy to us.”

For the sake of Abraham … Isaac … and Israel …: God will have to show mercy by allowing the Jews to continue to exist, if he is to keep the promises made to Abraham, Isaac, and Israel (Good News Translation “Jacob”), which are recounted in the next verse. No matter how unworthy the present generation may be, for the sake of the ancient worthies Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, God will have to show mercy. This is the logic behind Good News Translation with “Keep your promises to Abraham….”

For Abraham thy beloved … Isaac thy servant … Israel thy holy one, compare Isa 41.8:

But you, Israel, my servant,
Jacob, whom I have chosen,
the offspring of Abraham, my friend.

Moore translates Abraham thy beloved as “Abraham your friend” in the light of the Isaiah passage. This is understandable, but perhaps unwarranted. The text only says “Abraham whom you loved.” The odd thing about this list is that Israel (Jacob) is called thy holy one. Elsewhere in Scripture the people of Israel are referred to as holy (for example, Deut 7.6), but nowhere is the man Israel (Jacob) called God’s holy one. Good News Translation takes liberty in interpreting this to mean “Jacob, the father of your holy people Israel.” This too is understandable but perhaps unwarranted; “Israel, your chosen one” is better. This is a unique passage, and it is probably wiser to let it remain so. Some translators may wish to substitute “Jacob” for “Israel” however.

Contemporary English Version has a helpful alternative model for this verse:

• You loved Abraham;
Isaac obeyed you,
and you chose Jacob.
For their sakes, don’t take
your mercy from us.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

Translation commentary on Susanna 1:12

If integrated into the book of Daniel: 13.12.

They watched eagerly may be rendered “They waited there [in the garden] eagerly hoping” or even “they would wait around, hoping” (Contemporary English Version). For the Greek adverb translated eagerly, compare its use in 2 Macc 2.21, where Revised Standard Version renders it “zealously.”

To see her: The context of the narrative suggests that they wanted to sneak peeks of her, which Good News Translation captures with “to catch sight of her.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on The Shorter Books of the Deuterocanon. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2006. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.